r/excatholic

​

How can I handle it myself?

Some people are spiritual but not religious, but personally, I feel like if you believe in the supernatural ( karma, chakras, energies, vibes) without believing there is a God protecting you, It's a much weaker form of psychological protection than believing in God.

So far my life has been relatively stable and normal, but I've thought a lot about: what if later in life I have a health problem; how will I handle it?. Prayer is a coping mechanism. It probably doesn't do anything, but when you believe it does, or when you believe in heaven, you have a coping mechanism.

Would I pray out of desperation? Even though, God, if he was real, probably wouldn't like me or help me, due to me not being a good Christian/ not praying/ not going to church.

I was always taught that it was hypocritical and wrong to ask God for help with your problems even if it is a health problem, if you don't go to church or pray. In this case it is worsened by the fact that I am a non believer.

Emotionally I feel like I should confess my sins, pray, and go to church because I have a moral obligation to God and I also want his protection, maybe because I was always psychologically conditioned since my early childhood to feel this way, but rationally I know God commands genocide in the bible and I shouldn't seek a relationship with such a person.

I don't even know if I need spirituality or if I should seek it, through something like spirituality or another religion because it probably does feel good psychologically but it lacks evidence. Or if I should just ignore every negative part of the bible and every indication that Christianity is false, in hopes that I will recover the peace of mind that comes with religion.

Have any of you been in a similar situation? Where maybe you liked some rituals of religion or spirituality but you believe that Christianity is false and some of its teachings are harmful? Maybe you also felt an inclination, as a result of psychological conditioning or guilt, to go through the process of penance/ confession and you wanted the peace of mind that comes with religion but you believe it's probably false.

Thank you for reading my post and I find any personal experience/ testimony to be really valuable in this regard. Even if it doesn't include advice.

​

Hi, im new here and i want to write this post to Say my own thing about political parties in Italy, in Italy we have left and right, left being the progressist and right the conservatives. You expect a that left introduce progress in Italy they could be some parties that they want to go on a more atheist/ respectful for all the other cults or how do ya call them for exemple removing the crucifix from public schools (or go on a way that Will make Italy completly atheist, impossible, obviously).

But not even that, why? Because Italy Is probably One of the most bigot country in existance. And this makes me mad like shit 'cause left should introduce something more modern but not. Not even right do this, First because their not even bigots they're Cristian extremist so their homophobes, and things like that so i not even like their ideology.

So this pisses me of to not have to choose a party that i like, obviously there are some that like for example the PD with Elly Schlain (idk how to write that) or 5 stelle ecc...ecc

PS i'm Sorry if my english sucks but im 14 and im italian.

I want to know what denomination and why that one in particular? Do you believe it to be the fullness of the truth?

When I was born, there was a Catholic priest who immediately baptised me right there. My mom still is a very devout Catholic and her social life revolves around the church. I did not go to other denominations. I became a devout staunch atheist. Anybody who ever seriously read Bart Ehrman's books, critical-literary analysis on the Bible, and the HISTORY of Christianity (by Diarmaid MacCulloch, a masterpiece and I recommend it to EVERYONE and yes it's very thick and dense it took me several months to finish it), can no longer in their right mind believe in the world's greatest lie, fiction that is Christianity. Jesus was a human being. He preached JEWISH ideas. Dying on the cross was a common punishment for political rebels in the Roman Empire. A lot of his quotes and anecdotes in the New Testament were added later and not in the older manuscripts. (which suggests they are literary inventions) The veneration of saints is just a remnant of european polytheistic paganism. Virgin birth motif existed before Jesus. His followers were just shocked and traumatised that they had to reinterpret EVERYTHING from the Old Testament and the circumstances surrounding his death (very Jewish tradition to turn every suffering into a sign from the God) so Jesus could TURN INTO the God. I'm curious what other members of this forum have to say about this.

I 26/27M (have my own apartment in the city) had an amazing connection with a 24/25F South Asian Catholic (lives at home w parents); we saw each other for ~1–2 months, she made me meet her friends for hours for drinks, spoke for many hours on the phone, talked marriage/kids, and she kissed me at my home. I even agreed to go to mass with her and she agreed to celebrate Diwali and Eid twice a year (culturally). Agreed on so much. She’s dated only 1 person before for a month.

She knew from day one that I’m not Catholic (Muslim mom, agnostic Hindu dad, mixed religious upbringing, I like to pray privately, believe in the practical teachings of Buddhism and the Bible and some kind of life after death) and seemed completely okay with it. She said her bother married a Hindu girl and he laid the groundwork for her who sister is with a Jewish guy and herself. After she told her parents about me, they reacted badly; they said “they have failed as parents”; “are you going yo see your Muslim bf”; her mom apparently said some really really mean things about me/my mom that she wouldn’t tell me; then we met once more w a mutual friend of mine to just hang out. I said a few things in passing like I don’t mind moving to Dubai; she then slowly distanced herself, then went on a 10-day vacation with friends with almost no contact which was so confusing and anxiety inducing after all her actions led me to believe otherwise.

When she returned, she suddenly ended things, saying my beliefs were too complicated, that the world is already such a confusing place, that she wanted a Catholic partner/united front for future kids, someone born here, raised in a detached house, for her kids to meet their grandparents, and other things about me not getting the Catholic milestones.

I understand her choice and people are allowed to walk out. I’m guessing she saw the difficulty of integrating me into her big extended Catholic family?
I’m struggling to understand why she pursued me and took so seriously when she knew all of this from the beginning—did her parents change her mind? was this always doomed? Is she just immature? Why would she take little things like I grew up in an apartment or would be open to moving to Dubai as the major dealbreakers? Was she always like this? Is this normal for Catholics? Why spend 5-6 hours w me on each date in addition to 5 hour phone calls? Why do I feel like there’s something wrong with me? Why even try when she knew her parents were against her brother’s marriage and gave him hell for 12 months before he got engaged? Is this normal for Catholic girls? Why did she make me feel I’m the problem w my beliefs? How come she’s open to sex before marriage and living together before marriage but draws the line here? I fully respected hers…I’m still feeling confused, sad, betrayed and experiencing cognitive dissonance on how someone can change so quickly.

Looking to excatholics to chime in and help me make sense of this. So confused… :(

When I was at my most devout and faithful I would never have told anyone that I hated doing these things:

1. Confession: this is for obvious reasons

2. No meat on Fridays during Lent/it being a mortal sin -- this never not once ever made any sort of sense to me

3. Veneration of the Cross during Good Friday -- bless my heart I always thought it seemed like idolatry

4. Crowning Mary as Queen of May (is this just a Catholic school thing? again: it felt like idolatry)

5. Praying to the saints-- I never had a real devotion to any of them to tell the truth

6. Birth control being sinful: Look, I just never wanted 7+ kids. You could never have convinced me that that would be something I wanted

7. Women submitting to their husbands: need I say more?

Feel free to add to the list I'm sure there are more y'all can think of

Probably spoken about before . No Catholic when I was going to mass seems to bat an eye about the shared chalice even and the last people sharing a cup with 50 people regardless of colds or cold sores etc. the part that I never heard spoken about is the fact that in 1900 years or whatever under the Latin mass the cup wasn't drank by the laity but they only got the eucharist , however since the new mass in around the 60s they all just started sharing the cup ..?? I don't get it

I've been in a Catholic school from 6 to 14 years old, feel free to ask me anything you want

Terrible really!

Bit of a story but a close friend and fwb of mine whom I have known for 15+ years told me he’s been celibate for a couple months and is planning on joining the Jesuit priesthood and I can’t help but feel like I’m helplessly watching someone I care about fall into a crazy cult right in front of me. It’s really making me sad and I want to just grab him by the shoulders and shake him to his senses. Of course I respect the fact he can make his own decisions and life choices but it’s such an extreme change I feel like I’m mourning him. I don’t know what I can do, if anything. I’m scared to lose him either by sitting on the sidelines and watching or trying to convince him not to. Anyone have any experience with this? It’s making me really feel hatred towards religion in general.

I don't know if many of you have noticed this but so many leftists end up being Trads in different clothing. What I mean by this is the way some leftists go so far with their purity testing that they end up acting exactly like the TradCaths and Evangelicals they hate so much. I especially notice this when they morally police other leftists, liberals, and progressives. As an Ex-TradCath, this truly disturbs me and it feels like a good number of those who leave the Church go straight to activism without first actively deconstructing the black and white mindset they were taught. Just my observation.

I have been an ex-catholic for at least five years and I still, to this day, struggle with intense shame over normal things. has anyone else gone through this and if so how did you get over it?? shame is killing my passion for anything. logically I know I'm okay and I'm normal and I'm not a sinner but the messages hammered into my skull by the church still remain.

Hello! I’m a 19 year old male. So for context I’m a pet sitter on rover and I’ve been taking care of animals for longer. I’ve been taking care of a 6 month old pittie puppy, I went upstairs to just be alone for a few minutes then I came back downstairs to sit with her. One of my necklaces was on the dog bed missing the charm. I started to freak out bc I thought she ate it. I am a bit of an anxious person and my brain can go into hyperdrive. I looked around the room. Didn’t find it, I called my parents and they said to wait. And on the phone they prayed to St. Anthony. When they got home my dad found the charm in the bed. Then said something about how they prayed to him to find the charm and also to prove that the saints are real? Which was weird. I myself haven’t practiced Christianity since 13, mainly because I felt no connection to it. My parents converted when I was 14. I still am not religious. I’m pretty sure that my brain just didn’t check the bed for the charm.