Pre LDR Break Up Reflection and Advice
If some people could share any similar experiences to this, it would be very appreciated - so so sorry for the long post:
Back in September, I (F24) got dumped by my ex (M24) of 4 months. For context, we're both on the spectrum and have been in other long/short term relationships before and were students graduating grad school at the time.
In the grand scheme of things, our relationship wasn't long, but given everything I knew of him, he was exactly the kind of guy I would have wanted to end up with (smart, ambitious, kind, caring, attractive, financially stable, responsible, same moral/world opinions, insane romantic/sexual chemistry, we both equally admired eachother, etc...). He also kept saying during the relationship how I was perfect for him, and I was everything he wanted to end up with, and how he felt like he didn't deserve me (and he never felt that way before in previous relationships). Long story short, he broke up with me because of long distance (he got offered a fantastic job in a different country, and since we had only been together for a couple months at that point, it didn't make sense to/we couldn't make long distance work). I also have my dream job here, so thoughts of relocating in the near future were completely off the table.
During the break up, he told me he was falling in love with me (we never talked about love before that point), and needed to end things now before he "fully" fell in love with me. It was an overall good conversation, and we both cried/wished the other well. Anyways, he texted me shortly after, and we kept talking for a few weeks after the breakup (mainly him reaching out - and we would talk every day/video call frequently) because he said he couldn't stand not to talk to me (and I obviously wanted to keep talking to him as well), and he couldn't not have me in his life, and how he wanted to stay friends. But, he slowly started turning into a different guy (more uncaring and selfish, and he even started casually hanging out with his ex again and telling me about it). Then, finally, he ended it for good after about a month of this, and said he didn't want to continue seeing me and how he didn't have the ability to be friends right now. The way he said/did it all was pretty harsh, because this was all over text (so was the first breakup), and he was very straight to the point, he also did not expand on his reasoning, and I didn't care at the time to know why (just because it hurt a lot, and I didn't want to hear him tell me he lost feelings for me so quickly if that was the case). It was amicable, but it was also all on his terms - he also ended up apologizing for one of the things he said during the time. He then went on to unfollow me from all of our social media a couple weeks after that, and removed me as a follower (even though he has a public account, and still follows his other ex's).
Anyways, it's been about 8 months from our original break up and about 7 months of no contact, and while I feel much more detached and moved on from the situation emotionally, I find myself reflecting on it more logically, and was wondering if people can offer their opinions/feedback/advice? I really thought he was the "perfect guy" until those few weeks at the end. Also, I find it hard to imagine I'll find someone else who was as perfect for me as he was (not that there isn't probably someone better for me out there, just that he was pretty fantastic in the relationship, and I don't know if it's possible to find better than that/him in my lifetime - ex. Another perfect person may be in a relationship with someone else). And, do you think guys like this would ever come back? And even if he did, would it even be smart to be with him again given how it was post break up? Have people been in a similar situation before, and how did it end? Did you actually end up finding someone better for you? The dating scene is so rough, I feel like I still "only want him" in a way. I also know that no one is really "perfect", but it felt like he was pretty close.
Sorry again for the long post, I appreciate any imput. For such a "short" relationship, I seem to have much more to say about it than my previous longer relationships.