Struggling with RJ
Im a 23 F with a partner (25, F). I dont have much experience in the sexual department, however she does. And it's been killing me to know she's done things casually in the past. Kissing to me even is sacred and she's had her fair share of casual partners. We're each other's first loves and relationships, as well as first time going all the way, but I can't help but think of what she did in the past. Yes I know it's illogical, yes I know past is past, but something in me is stuck on these thoughts. Im a secure person, I know my worth, but I can't help, for example, think of whether she's kissed someone else like she's kissed me.
She's done a good job at reassuring me, telling me that it's different with me because now there is sincerity and feelings. But I can't grasp that. Maybe it's because I dont understand the concept of casual or how people could feel, but somehow it just makes me feel less special and extremely stressed out and alienated
Can anyone help?