My partner 38M "disappears" and fails to communicate with me 34F when he goes out
I want to begin by saying that my partner is a wonderful person. There's so much about him; we get along really well, have so much in common, and we have so much fun together. However there's just one thing between us that seems to be causing a stumbling block in the relationship. He likes to go on nights out several times a week (although it has improved since we first started dating eight months ago) and when he goes out with friends - some of whom I know some of whom I don't - he often falls off the map of communication for many hours at a time, failing to let me know where he is or that he'll be out very late. We don't live together yet so I understand he isn't obligated to update me constantly, but it's just entire radio silence for long periods of time.
Now, I don't expect constant texting nor do I want that but I would like to know that he is okay, especially because there have been times he's been out and had some problems (such as running into an ex and having an argument, losing his phone, and one time even losing his shoes!) He never did find the phone or shoes, and I had to get him a new phone and help him set it up. He is not very technologically literate which I don't mind and I genuinely don't mind that he doesn't want to sit there on his phone texting me, that is absolutely fine, but I would really like for him to check in with me and let me know when his plans change or he decides to be out so late.
Sometimes he even says he'll call me or we'll FaceTime at a certain time and he entirely misses that window of time by hours because I give up and go to sleep. I never send him harassing messaging asking where he is or call repeatedly, I just stop trying at all to communicate at this point when I find out he's on a new "adventure".
We have gotten to the point where we even have Life360 on our phones so I can see where he is when I don't know where he is for example, at 2am or later. Sometimes he even goes out until this time of night or later when he has work the next morning he works in a professional career with children and is my belief that it is irresponsible to go out so late the night before you have work.
He seems to know that this behaviour is poor. We have had many discussions about it and he always says that he is sorry and that he feels ashamed, and he points out that it has improved since we met. However I still feel distraught every time it does happen. I don't think that he's an alcoholic although he does drink to excess when he has these disappearing spells, and he doesn't seem to have much control over what he does once he starts drinking and getting lead astray as he puts it by his friends. He has friends he'll "bump into" and they sort of make him distracted and take him into their evening (all nighter) plans.
By the way, he's a 38-year-old man. He has never been married and does not have children. I am a 34-year-old woman. I have two children from a prior relationship. My new partner says emphatically that someday he would like to be married and have a child together. However this one piece of his behavioural make-up is causing me to doubt whether or not he would be able to responsibly handle these things in the future. Everything else about him is absolutely ideal. He is kind, generous, smart, attentive. I love him so much and I want to make it work.
Am I asking too much for him to shoot me a quick text when his night plans change or go on till the wee hours of the morning? Is it something I should just learn to live with? I am totally open to feedback on this. Thank you for reading.