▲ 4 r/ChristianDating

Most attractive clothing style for the opposite gender?

Style is very important in the dating world because it communicates about a person before they even speak. Personality, values, creativity, confidence, attention to detail, lifestyle, even how someone carries themselves in the world.

And I don’t necessarily think caring about style is vain. Obviously obsession with appearances can become unhealthy, but humans have always used clothing, grooming, and aesthetics as forms of expression and identity.

So I’m bored tonight and curious:
What clothing styles are most attractive to you on the opposite gender, and why?
No “tight dress” or “suit,” but what kind of overall aesthetic or vibe catches your attention?

Minimalist? Outdoorsy? Classic? Artsy? Streetwear? Modest? Rugged? Feminine? Put together? Effortlessly casual? Bright colors? Earthy colors?

And what do you think that style communicates about the person wearing it?

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u/FallDeers — 13 days ago

▲ 12 r/ChristianDating

Hey guys! I was at work listening to this House Of Jacob podcast and it was quite convicting and would love for you’s to also be encouraged to change.

My notes from the pod:

Intro:
-We sometimes believe the false idea that God is only working when we see our lives blessed, but it’s actually the hard seasons when God is oftentimes working in us the most

-If we refuse to see this and choose instead to wave our fist at God, we very well could be missing moves of God because of our own sin

How does he use hard seasons?

Isaiah 48:10, Micah 3:3- to refine and purify us

Yes, God allowed the suffering, but with an end goal, to purify and reflect Jesus better

James 1:2-4- to bring perseverance and maturity

-if we try to hop out of the furnace and avoid the pain, we won’t mature

-the more you grow in perseverance and trust in Jesus, the more easier it is to deal with

Draw us closer to Him- Psalm 34:18

-He is close to the brokenhearted because He was a brokenhearted servant

It’s for His glory- 1 Peter 1:6-7

-when your faith is proven genuine, the result is honor and glory to God (look at Job)

-Acts 5:41 the apostles left their suffering for Jesus, “rejoicing.”

His questions:
Will you praise Him in your sufferings?

Will you let him use your sufferings to grow you?

How this applies to Christian dating and singleness:

I had to repent to God after this podcast. Other trials I have had in life, I have willingly turned to God and became stronger in Him because of it, except for being single and navigating dating.

This past year I especially have had a hard time with dating as I’ve taken many step towards finding a spouse. I sometimes felt stupid for not going by the whims of my hormones in my youth. I envied the friends that did that and still ended up in good relationships while I am still alone. I have emotionally been shaking my fist at God, angry at Him for not giving me a good man, the one I, in my pride, felt like I deserved. My heart is often filled with those sinful thoughts.

I’m sure many of you feel similar in this.

But what if we are rejecting an important lessons because of our refusal to humble ourselves?

Going back to #1, God allowed me and you to go through this. He allowed us to be alone in this moment. That can either make us mad, or comforted that he has a plan. I will choose to feel comforted because I know God is a good one, whatever His plan. With #2, We should not avoid our loneliness, but feel it and rely on God. It’s okay to feel disappointed and lonely, it’s what we do with it that can lead us to sin. #3 We can’t say that God doesn’t understand our broken hearts because He was more brokenhearted by many more, and those close to him. He knows pain. #4 I, like some of you, chose to wait till marriage, take relationships seriously, and the result was that we are waiting longer than others. I won’t wallow, but rejoice that God has protected me. I will rejoice in God.

So my question for you all is:
Have you allowed God to grow you in this season of dating/singleness or are you choosing to wave your fist at God because of your hard heart?

u/FallDeers — 17 days ago

▲ 78 r/ChristianDating

I don’t know who needs to hear it, but men that demand submission are often the ones not safe to submit to.

This is just something I’ve been ruminating on. I recently talked to a friend who had an online date bring up how women must submit to a man. And while the idea of a wife submitting to her husband (note: her husband) is biblical, the way it was brought up so quickly made her understandably uneasy.

When I meet men, one of the main questions I ask myself after a date is if I respect him. Not if he’s perfect, but “if he became the head of my future household, would I trust his judgment as much as mine, if not more?,”
“Is he truly submitted to God and His word so that I can do so?,” “Does his character actually carry the weight of authority?”

I look at the men in my life that I deeply respect, and they all practice servant leadership well. Yes, they hold authority (in their household, their church, their job) but they’re also the ones willing to do the “lesser” tasks. They make sure people under them feel heard, seen, and actually cared for.

Then I look at our ultimate example of authority, Jesus Christ. He didn’t push people down to lift Himself up. He led with servitude and sacrifice. And somehow that didn’t make people respect Him less, it made them respect Him more. His authority spoke for itself. In Matt 28, he announces the authority he was given, yes, but he was declaring the authority already given and proven, and had evidence of humility, sacrifice, and integrity.

Strong men don’t need to demand authority, they create it. They create safety and direction, and people respond to that. Women will respond to it.

Weak men demand submission because they can’t inspire trust or safety. Dangerous men demand submission because they want control.

Leadership is a heavy calling. But I don’t think people always talk about the vulnerability it requires from women too. That’s not something to hand over lightly. I truly believe that’s why we see women are more picky in dating. God designed it.

Thanks for reading my rant. 😮‍💨

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u/FallDeers — 22 days ago