What is my deal?
My (45m) and my wife (35f) have a healthy sex life, meaning about once or twice a week, but I am bored. There is no flirting. No sexy pictures or videos. Hardly any foreplay. It's not just the sex, it's more the entire sexual relationship. I came from a different background, (swinging, threesomes), where she has always been very vanilla. The sex itself is good, she doesn't suck in bed or anything, but I sort of feel like that has a lot to do with me taking control. She will cum a handful of times usually.
I have tried introducing toys, role playing, making videos, sexy clothing, random kinks. I've asked for us to take turns coming uo with something new or different. Even a different location. I tried sending her sexy pictures but she doesn't care and doesn't want to send them back. I've tried 100s of positions just to keep myself interested....Im pretty much out of ideas. I just want to keep it exciting. Her response to everything I have tried is that she is "extremely satisfied and doesn't need anything else". I don't want to outright tell her I am bored. It's not a sex drive issue, as I don't feel like I need sex constantly, I just miss excitement.
I don't want to cheat on her, but I have considered something online. It's nearly impossible to find people though, so I've pretty much given up on that. In the past it has helped curb it though.
I feel bad even complaining when I see all the dead bedroom posts and such, but the constant need for excitement keeps me looking at other women and missing how things were in my past. If a woman even looks at me in public my heart jumps. Ive even dressed nice just to run to the store, in hopes of getting some attention. I crave that attention and excitment so much, and I don't know why or what to do about it.