u/Faloobia

I tend to duck out the back door for a couple minutes, if I forget to lock it as I leave and when I come back from taking the dogs out to toilet in the yard, I'm in big trouble.

I've always had the front door locked permanently but the back is usually unlocked/open for a breeze/going to the veranda/backyard, letting the dogs out if we're all up and active. Everything is always locked up at night/when no one's home though.

Grew up with the backdoor of our Queenslander in Wooloowin being always open for a lick of breeze.

Genuinely curious how many other people here are this adamant about door locking? Don't get me wrong I understand why they want to, it's just not a habit of mine.

Hey there, sorry for the long post

For reference we live in Australia. She is, with her justifications that I understand, wanting to keep the backdoor locked at all times when we're awake/active. This is fine however in all my life I haven't lived with people who have wanted it to this level. We have been living together about 7 weeks.

If I take the dogs out (Her pets) the backdoor and round the side of our building for 5 minutes, a couple meters away from the door, she expects the door to be locked upon leaving and returning (8 apartments, 2 story building, very small). I am trying and trying to get into the habit of always doing it, but sometimes I forget and when I do, she gets upset at me.

Tonight we had an argument because I took her dogs outside for a toilet for all of about 3 minutes. When I tried to come back in, the door had been locked behind me, that's fine, I asked her to let me in, I came inside with the dogs, had a little play/wiped them down and just settled in.

Later on that night, she brought up that I didn't lock the door when I came back in and I tried to explain it wasn't locked when I went out initially, so my brain just didn't register to lock it coming back in. She got very upset. I tried to tell her that it's just hard to break a long habit of not needing to ALWAYS lock the backdoor when home and awake/alert and she didn't believe that anyone could live that way. I am getting into the habit but I still miss them.

I am totally fine with her locking it if I leave and I forget to, that's not an issue at all, she is upset that I personally am not always locking them. She thinks I'm stupid that I don't always have the doors locked and doesn't believe me when I say every place I have lived, hasn't operated that way. Even the family home wasn't like that at all. Always had people going to and from the backyard/patio, pets running in and out from the backyard, airing out the house etc.

I know it is a big deal for her and it hasn't been previously for me, I'm still putting in the effort which she's even mentioned that, but apparently isn't enough. She is very paranoid about certain things so I get it, I am trying and I do get it, it's just obviously harder for me to subscribe to those fears and use that to fuel my actions.

Genuinely, please, am I being unreasonable by telling her I will get into the habit she just needs to be more patient?

TL:DR

Living 7 weeks with Girlfriend, permanently keeps house completely locked up when we're all home/awake. If I step out for a couple minutes to the backyard, I have to lock the door behind me and lock it again upon returning. I sometimes forget to and she gets very upset. I am trying but breaking 35 years of muscle memory is hard.

Am I being unreasonable by saying I will get there she needs to be patient?