How to revive sex life?
29f and 30m.
Throwaway because hubby has my main. We have been together 10 years. We had a rough patch and now when he touches me I physically tense up and he can feel it. In order to keep some hope alive, I have been getting blackout drunk to have sex. I'm getting older and realized this is not fair to me or him.
So, to anyone who has been through anything similar, what are some ways to get the physical aspect of the relationship back? We both made mistakes, but he is a good guy and I don't want him to feel like I'm disgusted with him. I want to work through it I just don't know how to get past the initial mental block without liquor to dull my thoughts.
Tl;dr 29f need tips on how to enjoy having sex with 30m bf without alcohol involved? How to get the trust back?
Edit: Per the comments, more info was needed..I was young and used to say mean hurtful things to him when I got mad at him. In return, he got physical. After he put his hands on me multiple times the sex died down. It's been years, and we both have grown but it's like my body won't accept it.