I 22F have been with my boyfriend 24M for about 1year and 7months. He is an only child with semi strict/protective parents (mostly mother 53F) and he was very protected as a kid and while growing up. Don't get me wrong, so was I but he is still in that same mindset and we both still live at home. I feel like I'm losing the "spark" I really do still love him for who he is but I'm worried the intimacy aspect is not as strong as it used to be. I'm nervous to bring it up to him because we've spoken about this as a hypothetical in the past and he kept saying that he would obviously prefer if that wasn't the case but he'd work with it. I feel like he's starting to catch on that l'm not how I was.
It happened in the past where I was borderline depressed due to birth control pills and any form of intimacy was practically gone. We would still see eachother but the most we'd is snuggle on the couch, to which I would fall asleep pretty often. Since I got off the pill, my drive came back and we were okay but now I feel like it's slowly going away?
I do still find him attractive and he's very caring towards me.
One thing I will say, however, is that I feel like he doesn't have an opinion on a lot of things. He always asks me where we want to go when we go on date. I feel like he doesn't take initiative in some situations when I want him to.
I don't want to feel like his mother or his boss telling him what to do be cause I still want that element of surprise and spontaneity in this relationship. I think he understands that but he just doesn't lead.
I am very "man hater" with many exceptions of course, maybe that's too strong for him?
Help - How can I not lose this "spark"? We've talked about the future before and we see eachother in it, but l'm scared I won't want to be intimate or be attracted to him if I keep thinking this.