AITA for lowkey telling my friend I think she lied about her Dad dying
Update: her dad is alive and well. Was never sick. She also lied about dying of cancer (which she asked if my husband and I would care for her baby after her passing), told me her mom was psychotic (I think it’s her not her mom). And so many more things that ended up being lies. Borrowed money from me that I don’t have, allegedly for diapers because of a whole host of reasons that ended up not being true. I feel so stupid and this is the most angry I think I’ve ever been
quick note: I have OCD with constant ruminations, so I haven’t been able to let it go all this time. Working on it in therapy
\\\* Basically marks tl;dr
I have felt so conflicted over this for years now, and am thinking I am TA but I need y’all’s thoughts
Okay, so I (25F) got married in 2023. I made this friend (26F) my MOH
We met when I was attending the same university as her. And were really close for those 2 years until I was pushed out due to her partner at the time. Anyways we reconnected and I made her my MOH
I think it’s important to note that she has issues with alcohol (self admitted). This comes into play later.
\\\* So the week of my wedding, she was being kind of dodgy. She told me her dad was in the hospital for heart issues - which made sense because this came up at my really bad bachelorette. I had no reason to not believe her here. But then at like 2 am the morning of my wedding day, she texted that he had passed away
She still came, but was belligerently drunk and a hot mess. Which, I understood if her dad died. If it was mine I would have been a wreck. We also had stops in place so she didn’t drink too much. But she kept shrugging off my suggestions. Her speech that she said she had written (assuming another lie), whether it actually was or not was a 10 minute (not kidding) ramble
\\\* Okay so the part about her dad. I wanted to support her, so I asked about the funeral so I could be there. She sent me a link to the place and what day it was. When I asked her for the time she kept blowing me off. Then like the day of or day before, I tried asking again and she said her mom canceled it and had him cremated.
\\\* Here’s the thing, his name was not on the calendar and his obituary was not posted either. I understand not all people have obituaries but you’d think if they had a date scheduled, it would be on the services calendar.
She’s had many slip of the tongue moments where she’ll say “my dad” or “my parents” in reference to something in the present. Which I know is not a good indicator but still
\\\* So I started doing deep dives online to try and see if there was any record anywhere of his passing. Not a thing.
\\\* I’ve researched her county records and neighboring counties. Not a single thing.
\\\* He’s still registered to vote. Which also may not be a good indicator. But everyone I know who has passed AFTER he allegedly died in 2023, is no longer registered. Including my Grandpa, who no one in my family submitted anything for.. was removed automatically
Anyway, she’s going through a lot right now. A money situation came up and her mom (allegedly… think it was probably her) texted me from my friend’s number basically accusing me of being a bad friend.
So after a day or so, I responded that I was really hurt by that when I’ve stuck around and supported her through things maybe I shouldn’t have. She didn’t respond until I prodded more. When she finally responded it was a long note that ended in her asking me what I want/need from her. And I told her I wanted the truth
I asked her to come clean about things she’s lied about and she said no, but I can ask her things. I asked her what really happened the week of my wedding. And she ghosted
So a couple days later I told her that I knew the truth, I just wanted to hear it from her. And she ghosted again and blocked me on social media
So, AITA?