I regret offering to be a surrogate
Nothing has been put in place yet, but I am stressing that I will need to recind my offer at some point.
I have relatively easy pregnancies, so far I've only had easy births and I am done having my own children. I'd have genuinely loved to give my SIL the opportunity to be a mother, because I think she and my BIL would make fantastic parents.
This is going to sound incredibly selfish, but we've been having a fucking horrendous time with our second child (14 months old) and her terrible sleep. I have asked for help from my SIL, begged for help. They are our only local support system. They have made excuses, they haven't lifted a finger except when it suits them.
They will take my older girl who is 6 and you can pretty much just throw money and toys at, she'll come home spoilt rotten in a bad mood after being fed all the things I asked them to dial back on (after sending multiple food choices incase they feel stuck on what to give her) and they'll just say hello to the baby and leave.
When I'm asking for help I am asking them to take baby girl. For half an hour, whatever, I just need a breather and a chance to get the house together a bit. They have taken her once in the last 5 months, said they had a good time, loved spending time with her, but that was it. I've given up asking.
I had a medical emergency and was home alone with the baby waiting for my husband to get home from work. SIL knew I was going through it, she was off from work for 3 days, didn't offer any help whatsoever.
Baby's sleep has gotten better, but my brain is still fried, and I'm pissed off. My husband's work is extremely busy at the moment but hes only got a month left before it goes quiet again, at which point he'll be home a lot more and the pressure will be off me, but right now everything is on me.
I regret offering to be a surrogate for my SIL who can't carry her own children. They have no idea how big of an offer it is, hoe much stress even an easy pregnancy is on your body, how I will be losing work again. I told them we'd have to get everything done with solicitors so that there was less confusion and stress and the process is smoother once everything is said and done.
They have made no headway with this, and with how unsupported I'm feeling anyway I don't really feel like I want to put my body and mind through that when they'll probably just leave me to it the whole pregnancy, because they clearly have no idea what any of it is like.
Anyway, I don't know what to say to them. After what I've been through this week largely on my own (my husband came home each day, took the kids out of the house straight away so I could go sleep, got them dinner, cleaned the house, this isn't a husband rant) when she absolutely could have helped, I'm now just like why put my body through more shit?