I just wanna lab it!
I'm crashing out. Why the fuck can't I lab Slayer? or Johnny? Why am I getting dandy stepped on? Why do I keep getting hit with mist finer? I'll fucking tell you why. You should know why but I'll tell you anyway cause I'm cool like that. It's because Arcsys are a bunch of fucking bitches. Because I see what's happening but god forbid I try to lab it without spending money. Do I lab Slayer or do I get Extra Spicy Pad Thai for dinner tonight? You better believe I'm gettin those spicy noods. I'm hungry. I'm hungry and Strive sucks dick (affectionate).
Fuck me for trying to improve at this stupid fucking game without spending a frankly egregious amount of money just to have a slightly less miserable time fighting other people and their degenerate picks. Why do I have to give you my LUNCH MONEY just to figure out how to make fighting these degenerate fucks less miserable!?
RIDDLE ME THIS ARCSYS! RIDDLE ME THIS!? WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I LAB CHARACTERS I DON'T OWN?! I DON'T WANT TO PLAY JOHNNY IN RANKED I HATE HIS BITCHASS, HE CAN CHOKE ON A DICK AND DIE. HIS SWORD IS SMALL AND FRAGILE, AND HIS AURA IS WEAK. HE'S A FAKE BITCHASS POSER. EVEN BRISKET AND MAY ARE COOLER AND HAS MORE AURA. SEPHIROTH FUCKIN WANNABE, YOU'LL NEVER BE AS COOL AS THE GOAT. ALSO FUCK SLAYER I HOPE HE DIDN'T SIGN A PRENUP AND HIS LOVELY AND BEAUTIFUL WIFE TAKES ALL THE BLOOD IN THE DIVORCE. FUCK YOU AND YOU'RE FAKEASS OFFENSE THAT I CAN'T LAB, I HOPE YOU GET INTO A MESSY ARGUMENT WITH YOUR WIFE AND SHE LEAVES YOU AND NEVER FORGIVES YOU AND YOU HAVE TO LIVE THE REST OF YOUR IMMORTAL LIFE WITH THAT REGRET.
Shoutout to Elphelt for being a bitchass cunt with annoying braindead offense but at least she's silly and cute and I like her design. Fuck DLC characters that are annoying to fight and I can't lab. This includes my own fuckass character. Let people lab Jam. God forbid I do a low from a command jump YOU CAN BLOCK IT I PROMISE IF YOU HAVE JAM UNLOCKED JUST SPEND 10 MINUTES LABBING HER ITS NOT THAT HARD.