u/Familiar-Ad8902

Need some advice on elderly 88y father with 89y stepmother who estranged themselves from me, brother and grandkids. We were all very close until mom died 10 years ago. Dad went HS reunion and connected with woman he knew long ago. This was 6 months after mom died. He sold everything and moved in with her. I gave her grace at the beginning when I was still deeply grieving mom. Tried to get along. She was pushy wanting me to come to her house and hang with her 3 daughters. I felt uncomfortable so didn't go. She and dad would drop by our house from time to time but then stopped during covid. She became extremely controlling. Every holiday or birthday is a struggle to get them to come. They are still relatively healthy and drive. We all live within 40 minutes. I ask over and over to drive to somewhere near them, take them to lunch but always an excuse. He still sees his friends and goes to lunch w his brother. They got married about 4 years ago but we did not know until he told me after a surgery she had. My husband went over and talked to dad but it didn't help. Now she insists the only way to see him is to go to her house where one of her daughters lives w them now. I feel like my life is in constant turmoil. It really gets to me during holidays.