hurting my parents , for all the past things . need solution
i am 24 M ,not brought up in a conventionally abusive household , but parents had always been strict (like any other indian parent). since last few years i have been realising how my parents (whom i use to love and respect like anything ) were very controlling and ruled with an iron fist , controlling every aspect of life . they loved me , showed all the emotions , but make sure that all those emotions are used to controll me from doing anything any other person of my age would do (they demonised having friends , going on trips , and a lot other pretty notmal things ... WHY ... they want me to be a bada babu (typical indian obsession ), and worry i wiill get distracted )
but the problem is now as i have realiswed all this i have developed a sense of hatred towards them . i often get emotionally charged and end up talking of the past events of how they controlled me un neccesarily .
they are no more controlling , but i often hurt them by taking out all those past meories and issues where they had scolded me un neccesarily . its not that i want to say it . it just comes out in random conversation and i end up hurting them .
how to navigate this preoblem