just need somewhere to vent my problem
So I just got off a call with my parents. Just to clear things: our relationship isn't very great but I've never seen it as bad, and I appreciate and deeply admire my parents for everything they have done for me and my brother. I live in Asia and honestly I feel like the way they raise us is still far more modern and respectful for the children than a lot of families around me.
I am currently studying abroad using my parents' money and I will be coming home for the summer. My mom's been insisting for ages for me to go on some kinda spa treatment for acne once I got home. I really don't want to cuz I hate people touching my face and I just know my mom will be telling embarrassing stories and making fun of me during the appointments.
Today I told her that, that I don't like it and I won't go, and she can go if she wants but I don't feel like I need it and there's no need for her to spend money on me like that. And she got all worked up and tries to convince me, saying acne can be a sign of disease and the treatment is very scientific and all her coworkers are doing it blah blah. I feel like she probably was persuaded by some weird marketing to be able to think that if you treat acne once then it will go away forever, but whatever. I tried to tell her that I don't want it, I don't need it, and if anything happens because of my decision then I will reap what I sow and nobody is hurt. I was very fking angry when I said this, but the moment I broke down was when she said she birthed me, raised me, so she can tell me what to do and I have no rights to talk back (there's a lot more but I'm not really in the mood to remember).
Ok that doesn't sound that bad but I was fking sobbing by this point. I've always known that she doesn't see me as anything above a kid but to hear her saying straight to my face that I'm dumb af and she can still control me is, wow.
On that note, I only ever talk to my parents a lot after moving out cuz the only way to stay in touch is through videocalling. I notice that I usually feel like shit after each call, but I always try to ignore it. I try to think that they love me and trust me enough to spend a ridiculous amount of money for me to study in a first world country, I have it better than so many people, I should shut tf up.
I still think that they are far more progressive than many families (I live in a place where people still try to mary off their daughters at the ripe age of 18 so, yeah), but after this I have given up the hope of trying to convince my parents that maybe their daughter isn't 12 anymore. I will probably just suck it in and tolerate it until I can be financially independent and then we'll see. I really fking hope I can get a TA position next year so I can finally have my own money.
Thanks for listening to my vent. I don't really want to badmouth my parents to my friends so that's why I'm here. I'm still sobbing. Have a nice evening everyone.