I struggle with getting validation inside my marriage, and there’s this married dad at my kids school who’s been showing me validation. I think I’m just insecure, I’m sweet and kind and I feel a little taken advantage of . Theres a lot of unspoken sexual tension between us over the last three months. We’ve never really had a chance to speak to each other. About three months ago, I never really noticed him, but he started initiating a hello and goodbye every single time he would see me and conditioned me to know that he was going to acknowledge me, this went on for about two months. He would always try to make eye contact first and wait for me to look in his car until he could make a point to wave at me. Sometimes I would catch him looking at me when I was getting my daughter out of the car and he would be looking at me waiting for me to acknowledge him so he could wave and then drive off out of the parking lot . He has been very hyper focused on me. He knows when I’m late. He’s waved at me at the stoplight before, he knows my direction home because he knows I drive right behind him or he drives right behind me because my neighborhood is the next neighborhood over from his. Our first conversation was with another parent, it was about our kids, and he was so nervous to talk to me. His face was red, he kept stumbling over his words, and he kept staring at my waist in my hips while we were talking. He also goes to my kids, gymnastics gym, and I noticed he glances at me a lot over his wife shoulder and he has not introduced me to her. This went on for about two months, but he would never initiate a conversation. Until one day everything changed when he used another woman to flirt with in front of me at the school and it literally crushed me.
I mean, I cried about it . And and I don’t even know why. The next day I decided to ignore him and takeaway the sweet waves and hellos. I guess he felt bad, and so he started parking close to me when he use to park further away and looked upset in his car because I wasn’t paying attention to him. But in the parking lot the day after I continue to ignore him, he purposely waited in his car with all the windows down while I was walking with my daughter back to our car, he made a point to wait until I walked in front of his car to yell from his car a few feet away bye have a good weekend to make sure I will look up and validate him again (he had plenty of time to drive away and waited for me) I ended up getting over it after a day or so and I did have his phone number put away on an RSVP for his child’s birthday party, so I texted the number Sunday night over the weekend and he replied within a minute and had a very professional text that he was happy that she was gonna be there at his kids party. I hearted his message and nothing. Then at school he looks at me a lot and glanced at me a lot so says hello but still wouldn’t initiate a conversation.
So I took a leap and I decided to turn around a couple days ago and say hello to him and how are you and I walk with him to his car we had a quick conversation. Fast forward to pick up he decided to park really close to me again in the parking lot and in the pick up line, he approached me for the first time, walked up to me and said hello and I asked him if he found what he was looking for from our previous conversation on his errand and the whole time he’s just nervous talking to me but smiling. He’s asking me what school my kids gonna go to next year, noticing that I haven’t been bringing my other child with me at pick up and been leaving her at home with my husband. He was smiling a lot and rubbing his chin stumbling over his words. And the next day he was like super cheery and happy and really nice to my daughter nicer to her than any of the other kids at school.
I just wanna know what’s going on if this guy is OK with me making a move or if he’s just too scared someone help me please!! seriously there’s so much sexual tension there it’s hard to explain, but we literally give each other validation every single day for the last three months, is this guy ever going to make a move? What do I need to say so that we end up in bed together. First time for me! And if he didn’t wanna do anything with me, why was he saying hello to me every single day for like a month even when I would try to ignore him at the beginning he would make sure he said hello to me so I would acknowledge him? Is this just a waste of time? I have such like a connection to this guy from all the validation I’ve been getting that I don’t get in my marriage. He’s been so hyper focused on me but so scared or won’t initiate a conversation. I had to do it. Are these major red flags? I’ve been using AI to help me and I don’t think it’s helping me very much. It’s making me obsessed that I don’t know what this guy wants from me.