Are my hosts tired of me, or am I just anxious?
I’m (33F) visiting my former US host family from an exchange program when I was 17. We’ve stayed close over the years, visit each other, and basically consider each other family.
I visited them 3 years ago too and it was one of my favorite trips ever. We spent tons of time together, drove around, talked a lot, etc. especially me and my hostdad since we both like just randomly work on things (we made a pond together in the garden), my hostmom is careeroriented and more introverted. But this time the vibe feels different and I can’t tell if I’m overthinking it or if this is just aging/change.
They’re now around 68–70. My host dad seems lower energy than before (bad sleep, hip pain, quieter, forgetful sometimes), and my host mom is very introverted/homebody and spends a lot of time in her room doing her own thing. They’re still kind and welcoming, just much less “engaged” than before.
I rented a car so I could do hikes and explore on my own instead of depending on them, and they genuinely don’t seem to mind at all. But weirdly that ALSO makes me anxious, like maybe they secretly want more space.
I also feel self-conscious financially because I’m from the Netherlands where median salaries are much lower than in the US, and staying in the US therefore gets expensive quickly. They’re very generous with groceries etc., and while I do pay when we go out sometimes, I can’t exactly treat them to lavish dinners or gifts.
So now my brain keeps going:
- are they just older/tired and more low-key now?
- is this normal for long visits in older American households?
- or am I overstaying and overanalyzing everything because I’m anxious/out of routine?
Curious especially from older people, hosts, or people who’ve done long family visits.