I don’t know if I’m handling this right anymore.
My daughter is 31. For years she’s been calling me in saying she’s in crisis and threatening to hurt herself, saying she can’t handle things, blowing up my phone over and over. Today she called me around 30 times. I picked up once and ended up yelling at her to stop calling. I hung up.
This isn’t new. It’s been happening at least 5 years. Every time, it feels like I’m being pulled into the same cycle of panic, chaos, then nothing changes. At some point I started believing she just wants attention because it never seems to lead to anything different.
She lives on the other side of the country and is trying to leave a relationship and asked if she could move back home. She claimed he’s abusive but I don’t believe her so I told her no because she’s 31 and I feel like I can’t be the safety net when things fall apart.
I feel completely burned out. I don’t trust what’s real anymore when she calls. I think if I engage every time, I’m just reinforcing the behavior. I don’t know how seriously I’m supposed to take it when it’s been happening for so long. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do in the moment when she calls like that. Do stay on the phone? call someone? disengage?
If anyone has dealt with something like this from the parent side, I’d really appreciate perspective. I’m exhausted and honestly not sure what the right move is anymore.