u/Familiar_Room5487

It's actually insane how many times I imagined your death.

But it was never like this, never so sudden, never while you're paralyzed in my arms, barely responsive.

I imagined letting you go peacefully, surrounded by the people who love you most while I sing you to sleep gently.

Life never goes my way, does it?

I wanted you to turn at least 10 years old before you went.

You passed away in the same month you were born in, it's somehow poetic, but I hate it so much.

I wanted you to be at least 10.

I'm was not so naive as to believe you'd live to 20, not with the amount of health issues you already had.

But God. I at least wanted you to teach 10.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry Lila.