Guilt
Hey bird people! I’m coming on here to talk about my guilt as a bird owner. I have had my bird for about a year and a half, my bird was a year old when I got her.
SHORT VERSION FOR THE “I’m not reading all that” FOLK!: My bird (2 year old green cheek conure), seems really upset when I leave. She’s 100% a velcro bird, and I miss my independence. I love her so much, but I don’t know how to make sure she is happy. She looks healthy (vet app booked for May 13th), she is always happy to see me, and we spend a lot of time together. I just can’t help but feel like it isn’t enough. (Questions at the end)
My first year of owning her, we weren’t very close. Now, she is my best friend and I am hers.
I feel bad about my lifestyle. I work an 8 hour shift where I am gone for around 9 hours, for 5 days of the week. I am also a full time student going into my second year of university this fall, in which I usually switch to working weekends so theres really no day off for me.
She screams for me when I leave the room, and she doesn’t touch her toys much while I’m gone. She only touches her toys when I am in the room. I try to put on music or something entertaining on the tv but it always shuts off halfway through the day.
Her cage is pretty big, but I’m still worried about her mental health. I love her SO much, but I like being out of the house, I like going to my boyfriends and seeing my friends.
She isn’t at a stage where she’s comfortable coming with me outside of the house. I just feel so guilty leaving her for long periods of time.
I work from 7:00 to 3:30. So I leave at 6:30 and get home before 4:00. My boyfriend get’s of work at 5:00, but I usually don’t go until 6:00.
We have been practicing a new routine where I take her out for an hour before work, and then after work she is out until I go to bed which is six hours total.
If I am going to my boyfriend’s after work, I leave my house at 6, so her time out that day would only be 3 hours. I love going to my boyfriend’s, but I’m working on having him come to my house instead too.
On my days off which are Wednesday and Thursday, I have her out for 6 hours as well, but broken up to encourage independence (which is what has made me notice her behaviour). If she’s not out of her cage now a day’s, it’s to try and help her with her stress of when I leave the room, or because I am not home.
My parents plan on moving out of our house and will be moving into a separate house on the same property. Once this happens, there will be less noise around the house to make her feel like she needs to communicate to them (and me).
Right now she is in my room, but I plan on moving her as soon as my parents are gone. Once she is in the living room, my plan is maybe to get a second bird. I want a second bird, but my fear is that they won’t bond, and my guilt will be duplicated.
I feel like if she bonds to the second bird, I would rather her hate me, and be fulfilled, than love me and be deprived, so that is not a concern for me. I would also just love having more birds, the work is not a problem for me, and I prioritize doing care while they’re out to make sure I keep up with it.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel like I give my bird a good life. I just can’t help but feel like she needs to be more independent, as she will call for me literally until she hears nothing, and starts to settle down and do other things, or until I come back in the room.
Her cage is 5 feet long, and 3 feet high, although a bit short on the width, she is rather small and does well in this cage. I truly believe the cage is not the problem as she’s fine in it, and even choses to go back into it multiple times throughout our “out time.”
It’s just as SOON as I leave the room. Please help me! Am I a bad bird mom for spending so much time out of the house? I go to my boyfriend’s maybe 1-2 times a week, never more than 3 times (and that is super rare), and I don’t see my friends often and they’re more likely to come here so it’s less of an issue for me.
How can I make sure she is entertaining herself?
What do I need to do to help her?
What are your thoughts on introducing another bird sometime later on?
Should I be spending even more time with her? Less time with her?
Why doesn’t she touch her toys?!?!
Am I worrying for no reason?????