u/Fantastic-Courage183

how can make my ex come back ?

personality trait of hers - strong opinions, narcissistic , avoidant, egoistic, was madly in love is starting phase , asexual

The Setup & Background We met in college about 1.5 years ago. She is two years older than me. Initially, her attraction was very high—she actually pursued and proposed to me. At the time, I had completely revamped my personality, and to make her comfortable, I even cut off a female best friend who had feelings for me. The chemistry was great, but our attachment styles clashed: she leans avoidant, and I lean anxious. She also identifies as asexual, but we still maintained a very close, intimate (non-sexual) relationship. As far as her personality goes: she is highly intellectual, has a very small friend group, is egotistical/narcissistic, incredibly proud, has strong opinions, and generally has a low tolerance for men. How I Lost Frame and Her Respect Over the course of the relationship, I made several critical errors that shifted the power dynamics and caused her to lose respect for me: * The Sneaking Incident: I sneaked her into my strict "no-guests-allowed" apartment. My landlord caught us, and she had to run out of the building barefoot. She explicitly told me she lost respect for me as a leader after this. * The Anniversary Neglect: On our 1-year anniversary, I was out of town for work. It also happened to be the birthday of a female friend (whom my GF asked me to keep our relationship a secret from). My GF sent me tons of thoughtful, custom-coded digital gifts. I barely looked at them, sent a quick "happy anniversary" text, and spent the night partying at my friend's birthday instead. * The Birthday Disaster: I promised to spend her entire birthday with her starting at 10:00 AM. Due to personal issues, I went off the grid and didn't show up until 4:00 PM. Instead of taking her somewhere nice, I made her stand at a street food stall that I liked, ate in front of her, and forgot to even ask if she had eaten all day. She cried and tried to break up with me ("I'm not important to you"), but I managed to talk her out of it. * Trust Issues: I was caught lying to her about smoking cigarettes, which required her to give me another "chance." The Final Straw For the last two months, we argued daily. The breaking point happened on the day of a massive, career-defining exam for her. I showed up 20 minutes late to pick her up. Once again, I forgot to ask if she had eaten. We stopped for food, and I told her to "eat slowly"—something she had explicitly told me in the past makes her feel incredibly self-conscious and awful. The stress of the exam combined with my behavior caused her to snap. She told me to go home and said she would just call a bike-taxi. I convinced her to let me drop her off, but she treated me exactly like a taxi driver the whole way. After the exam, she grabbed her things, blocked me everywhere, and ended it. The Current Situation It’s been a couple of months. For the last month, we’ve been in very minimal contact. She only reaches out if she absolutely needs my help with something. I help her, but the moment the favor is done, she hangs up on me and speaks to me with zero respect. She recently went on a trip and will be back soon. Call it ego or stubbornness, but I want to recover my frame and get her back. Given her personality traits and the massive loss of respect on my end, what is the best strategy to re-attract her and flip the dynamic back to how it was in the beginning?