Why is it that I get nervous when the conversation goes different than I expected or imagined.
Or simply, why do we get cooked when a woman rejects or starts taking us lightly? And then our whole approach gets cooked.
How to stay composed and calm?
Real practical advice not mind workouts 🖐🏼
I have a middling level of experience, I'd say 30-50 sets over the last 3 years, I am working on pumping those rookie numbers up, I hope to do 50 more sets this weekend in a different city. I have recently been getting better responses (number closes and dates) but I am fizzling out in the texting and dating phase. I am working through some PUA material on this but what I have realized is that from years of being fat and getting bad results with bad pictures on dating apps, despite much looksmaxxing my confidence is shot. I am white, 6'1,0very muscular (can bench over 250 lbs for reps), have a 4 pack of abs, and am not bald (NW3 but I style it well and I have an HT coming up), I earn very far above the median US salary, so my baseline should be good, not a flawless pretty boy but I am above average.
My issue is I have internalized the idea that I am unattractive, also despite being open to casual relationships I am 37 and what I really want is to find my perfect girl to settle down with, and I have anxiety and desperation about my age and starting a family. All of this comes through despite intellectual knowledge of how important self-confidence and cockiness is. I keep making mistakes I know send icks but I can't help it because deep down I really want to be married and have a family now and I am very afraid it won't happen, I also have trouble convincing myself I am High-Worth. What is the best way to practice/improve confidence and inner game?
I want to learn what to say and how to say it to a 10 girl.
In different venues like street, subway, cafe, mall, club etc. in various situations like with a friend, a group of friends, with a group of guys + girl friends etc.
Please suggest me a course that you guys suggest me to watch for this.
I run out of things to say. So I need to know what many things are there that I can say.
Hey, I went clubbing and pulled this girl. We danced and stuffed, and she seemed really into me and my humour. Due to logistical issues, I could not kiss her close, but I did get an enthusiastic number close where she really wanted to meet up some other time. Anyway, it’s the next day, and I want to get the ball rolling on her and meet up with her in the coming week so our connection and vibe would be and stay the same, and I don’t want to wait too long. So, esteemed and experienced PUAs, lmk how or what kind of text should I send her. I was thinking of something along the lines of:
Me: Hey, it’s OP from last night at club name. I had a banger time. Let’s run it up again sometime.
Her: Positive Response
Me: Yk what? I don’t want to wait till next weekend. let’s go Chinatown and we’ll grab some boba(she mentioned she loves boba). You live close to it, so I’ll come by at like 3 pm on Wednesday.
Her: Positive agreement. Deal sealed. OR Further elaboration on logistical issues which can be settled to confirm a different day and time.
So, guys, is there any reason it won’t work or is there a better route? Please lmk.
Hey guys, I’m going to a music event in Manchester, UK this weekend. Any tips? I’m just going with one other friend and wonder if any tips for that type of environment?
Hello everyone!
I am not sharing my story, as it would take tens of thousands of words. But shortly:
I used to be a socially anxious guy in my teenage years. And even though I was an athlete and I had visible abs and decent muscle mass, I was still a virgin at the age of 19. And I was embarrassed and depressed. All other boys had found gf’s and at least most had lost their virginity. My self-esteem was crushed.
And I was curious how all those guys who weren’t athletic, neither good looking, had found gf’s.
And then one day I found this PUA stuff from internet, and of course I got inspired and hope. I watched “The Pick Up Artist” TV series, and I read a lot of this stuff.
And finally, one day I decided to put it into action…
I went alone to the nightclub. Totally sober. I was sweating, I was nervous, and my face was reddish. Then I decided to break the bubble of my comfort zone and approach a couple of cute girls. I did throw some lines I had read from PUA forums.
Well, of course I got rejected.
But I felt euphoric. I had just stepped into the scary, unknown world of talking with girls…
I did a few more approaches, and each time my confidence rose, as I realized I didn’t die from it. It was like grinding XP in WoW. Which I, btw, had played since vanilla.
Anyway, that was the night that changed my whole life.
It was the beginning of the journey, which did in the end took me to live the life I had only dreamed of. And much more. I am not going to brag about my success with women here, so no more about that.
All I say is that I went from kissless virgin to pimp.
That’s about my story in short, I had written my story in detail years ago. I might upload it as a PDF someday if I find it.
Anyway, feel free to ask anything :)
Tips on how to build attraction? I just don’t understand how ? I’m not very attractive I’m short and poor. I can’t even get women to notice me.
Actually whenever I try to approach and talk I can do openers but I just can't keep her hanging or can't let her do the work to keep my attention, if anyone knows any tips it would help alot.
I'm a 5'4" former aerospace engineer. When I started, every approach I ran turned into a job interview because I was taught it was polite to ask about people, but also because I was too nervous to think of anything to say. So I'd default to:
I thought I was building rapport, but what I was actually doing was being a value leech (at worst creepy). And this would always land me in the friend zone, one polite question at a time.
The mistake analytical guys make is treating attraction like a data-gathering problem. You interview her, plan to act on the data later. Except she's already formed her decision about you while you're still collecting requirements. You're taker and she has to be the giver.
Twenty minutes of tension-free Q&A and her brain files you under "friend/boring" The dry conversation IS the rejection.
The fix isn't better questions. It's fewer questions. Replace them with playful reads: observations delivered as confident assumptions, no question mark, slight smirk, then hold the pause.
There's four levels to bantering. Here a flirting example cheat sheet I give students:
Level 0 is the trap. Job interview mode. Never start here.
Level 1, playful reads. "You're trouble, I can tell." "Let me guess, you're the oldest sibling." Grounded in something visible, said as a verdict not a question. Wrong guesses work as well as right ones, because when she corrects you she's volunteering real information you can run with. She says "actually I'm the youngest," you say "ah, the spoiled one, that explains a lot."
Level 2, us against the world. The frame moves from two strangers evaluating each other to a us as a couple and not individual strangers. "If anyone asks, we met on Tinder, meeting at a bar would just be weird." When she builds on the "we," you climb. When she answers polite without picking it up, drop back to Level 1 and earn another laugh first.
Level 3, big couple energy. Mock relationships, mock breakups, presumed intimacy played for laughs. "You're laughing at all my jokes, you're totally obsessed with me." Only lands after 1 and 2 built warmth, because the absurdity is only funny when you both already know it's absurd.
The promotion signal between every level is identical: she teases back. One laugh is politeness. A laugh plus a tease back plus her lean ing in and slapping your shoulder is the green light.
Here's how you test for whether any of this is working: ask yourself, if a cop interviewed her after the date, she should not be able to recite a single fact about you. Only that you were fun, or funny, or that you annoyed her in a way she liked.
A woman's natural state is emotional and you need to meet her there. The deep emotional connection comes after she's attracted to you and you've built up that flirting, sexual chemistry.
There's more to staying out of the friend zone, but this is the first step so you aren't auto-friendzoned.
Over the past decade, many dating coaches have said that NYC is the king of day game (these are dating coaches who have traveled to many cities). Historically I would agree to that statement. NYC is the largest city in the USA (one of the largest in the world). It's population density is unmatched to most other larger cities in the USA, where you walk in any part of NYC and there could be tons and tons of women walking by, like an unlimited funnel. One of the most influential day game legends originated in the streets of NYC in the early 2000's. Extremely large city, many beautiful women, many different races, NYC is hard to beat when you look at those factors. Historically NYC and LA were like the two most popular cities in the USA for people to move to who wanted to get into modeling/acting/entertainment industry where lots of beautiful women are in.
however.............. That was in the early 2000's.
Fast forward to today, in 2026, NYC is still the largest city in the USA, still the most densely populated, still has many beautiful women, and many different races, (which is good news)
but.... I am hearing that NYC today is way more progressive than it used to be. Feminism has dominated in this city more so than it did in the early 2000's, (all US cities that are far left have turned into crazy progressive feminists). These are the types of women who don't like age gap relationships because of stupid power dynamic excuses, believe in all kinds of crazy ideas. I live in Seattle currently and no firsthand how bad feminism and progressiveness have ruined the dating scene for men.
On top of that, I have heard many people are moving out of NYC more so than in the past, so who knows how long NYC will still remain the largest city in the USA, could take decades before that happens though, so that might be premature to worry about, however there is a sense I hear from many people echoing that NYC does not have the "energy" it once had when you step inside it. It's like that energy it once had is long gone. I heard that for the entertainment industry no one has any incentive or need to move to LA/NYC anymore since everything is global now or online.
So what do you think? Is it still worth it to go to NYC to do day game in 2026 with the positives of this city (large, densly populated, large amount of beautiful women) or does the negatives of it (feminism growth) outweigh the good? Or does the good outweigh the negative?
As someone who is 40, I was recently thinking of moving to NYC (most likely influeneced by the nostalgic memories of the good old days of NYC), but after hearing about all the progressives and feminists dominating in NYC, I am having 2nd thoughts.
If NYC is not worth it, then what is better? Easy there anything better in the USA? I miss the good old days before the world became crazy, the women today just feel like they are crazy under some spell, and social media is a big part of it.
I've been in this game long enough in the past to fall for this many times and had to learn it the hard way. I am telling you all this to learn from my mistakes and learn the reality of what's going on today in those mean streets.
In the past (stupid old me), when I asked for a woman's number many times, and she offered her instagram instead of her number, the naive stupid me (gave her the benefit of the doubt) of typing in her Instagram and adding her. I would say that 100 percent of the times when I did this the woman either (never responded, blocked me, or made up some lame new excuse that she has a boyfriend and her boyfriend is blowing me up in my inbox).
Don't fall for this trap. It's easy to figure out. If the girl is not willing to give you her number she is not interested. She is just using the "Instagram" route as a soft way to try and reject you without rejecting you in your face.
so what do I do instead now? you may be wondering...
This is what I do now: When I ask a woman her number, if she says the stupid Instagram recommendation, I simply say "I don't use instagram". This is a test. If she doesn't offer to give you her number, then I just say bye. I was in the gym yesterday and did this. I asked her number and she said instagram instead, I responded that I don't have an instagram and she just walked off and didn't' care. I just saved my self time not dealing with BS. Why waste your time taking an instagram name she is most likely just gonna block you anyway.
Besides, its stupid to play that instagram social game dynamics, where women just wanna measure you based on some stupid social status. I don't even use instagram much anyways and by messaging on instagram you even make yourself look like a loser if you have no followers. Screw the stupid Instagram game. Instagram game is a losing game for all men. Only the top women have the highest followers on instagram.
I was hesitant to approach this girl bc her face wasn’t really my type, but damn I loved her body and was conflicted, so I did nothing. Did I make a mistake?
Can someone inform me where can I find that 5 hour video on the mystery method that was on youtube a few months ago? I was stupid enough to not download it. I don't know if it was a course, or whatever, but it had really good info.
im trying to go back to game after some years of not approaching and im on a small steps to feel my self out there i feel good allready giving compliemnts what is something harder then that or shold i go allready for 1 minute conversation
i feel like coming back to game is way easier as it takes 1 2 days to feel comfratble again
Guys, I am solid with opening outside and at night or at least decent at it, but now how tf do I open at a gym? There are so many baddies, but idk what to say or how to start a convo with someone with headphones in and then continue the conversation and make it fun in the gym when we both got shit to be doing. So drop your situations or field reports or openers or frameworks or anything needed to spit fire game at the gym.
Been dating this girl for about 6 months now and I've been seeing her almost every day she always reaches out. How do I tell her that I need my space
Hello,
How to approach girls in the gym without looking creepy?
Can someone give me advice or tell
Me what i am doing wrong because idk what do i do wrong i am comfortable to approach to a lady at any age i am 26 but everytime conversation is ending up with that i am married or i am closed to relationship right now etc usually it starts good and they like my compliments doesnt matter if i keep the conv long or short but its ending up in a failure slowly i started think maybe i am not even avarage looking men open for any advices
I got let into this event that was happening at a club and was just dancing and vibing with my friends when I saw these two girls sitting down by the tables. So I opened them with “You guys aren’t calling it a night already, are you?”—a teasing, playful opening that invites conversation. Bare in mind, this is like at 1 or 2 after I had warmed up with some other people throughout the night, so I wasn’t taking the whole thing too seriously. So I pulled them both to dance with on the floor. We danced for a bit before one of the girls noticed she lost her phone, after which we all started to look for it but couldn’t find it. I suggested checking behind the DJ booth, and she found her phone. She was in a much better mood, so we kept dancing while I kept on kinoing to ensure the vibe was up. After which, I took her to the back, and her sister left us alone to chat, where I was spitting game, talking, and stuff my hand on her legs and even more kino plus physical contact while she was constantly throwing shit tests at me, asking why I talked to her sister first and not her and all the nonsense. I answered her questions sarcastically and sometimes didn’t respond. After which, I number and Insta closed her, but I fumbled the kiss close on her. She was like, “Yk, I’m not easy,” and others were shipping us, saying we looked cute together, but I was so close to her, but I didn’t know how to further escalate, so we kept vibing talking, where in she would lean closer and away, just a lot of push-pull and teasing. I dropped the mystery question in the middle, asking, “Do you wanna kiss me?” And she laughingly said no, but then I said I never said you could, and we joked about it. She was also kinda drunk, and I’m cautious about not doing some dumb shit with a girl who’s not fully locked in. Afterwards, we danced some more, and that was fun. Then outside the club, I waited a bit with them for their Uber and sent them off. Overall, my biggest weakness is not knowing how to kiss close because I was right there. Realistically, I’m sure it could be done if I were a more experienced person. It might have happened, but I don’t know a kiss-close sequence as in how do I go from full kino on the legs and thighs leaning in laughing and joking to a kiss-close? What are some things I need to do or say or both such that it doesn’t feel like an intentional thing but more like a “just happened” thing? So yeah, any advice to help me improve based on this field report?