u/Fantastic-Mud8765

Receipts line my pockets

I’ve got nothing left to spend

Throw away the gifts and toys

All good things too must end

—-

When you tell the story

Of how I broke in two

Don’t forget the part where

We both walked out in rue

—-

To rampage in my anger

And relish in my shame

It took an aged monster

To shine light past the games

—-

You’ve every cause to burden

For every settled debt

The flesh stretched like a ledger

The heart plucked from its breast

—-

The ghost that’s in the mirror

Is the fire in the sheets

The criminal that’s lost his mind

Is the safest harbor reached

—-

Never could I judge you

For never choosing me

This sentence marks the first time

That the punishment comes free

—-

I’ll try to work my magic

And in a moment disappear

But I’ve no use as a showman

My delivery’s too sincere

Receipts line my pockets

I’ve got nothing left to spend

Throw away the gifts and toys

All good things too must end

—-

When you tell the story

Of how I broke in two

Don’t forget the part where

We both walked out in rue

—-

To rampage in my anger

And relish in my shame

It took an aged monster

To shine light past the games

—-

You’ve every cause to burden

For every settled debt

The flesh stretched like a ledger

The heart plucked from its breast

—-

The ghost that’s in the mirror

Is the fire in the sheets

The criminal that’s lost his mind

Is the safest harbor reached

—-

Never could I judge you

For never choosing me

This sentence marks the first time

That the punishment comes free

—-

I’ll try to work my magic

And in a moment disappear

But I’ve no use as a showman

My delivery’s too sincere

When summer burned the green away

I carried you to shade

And when the clouds gathered to storm

Your face fell in the rain

Delivering my sacred vows

Heart skipping on your name

I’ve carried you in death and life

Because you would have done the same

When summer burned the green away

I carried you to shade

And when the clouds gathered to storm

Your face fell in the rain

Delivering my sacred vows

Heart skipping at your name

I’ve carried you in death and life

Because you would have done the same

CARDINAL

Never on the sideline

But ever on the road

Getting spun like Disco

From the future growing old

——

Leaves are dry and piled

The tree beareth no fruit

Having drunk the boldest drop

Concentrated, yet aloof

——

That piece doesn’t go there

I agonize its shape

Perhaps these walls that hold me

Bear the marks of my mistakes

——

Dab a little honey

Then roll it on your tongue

The sweetness of the softest taste

A delight more than fun

——

Cash goes in the zipper

Gun goes to my head

For once I am excited

Thrilled I am not dead

——

Working for a bastard

Being one to boot

Thinking I am better

When I’m rotten to my roots

——

Jesus take the wheel

But stay away from me

I’m giving up the notion

That I ever have been free

——

Gotta have that guard up

Gotta get the jump

Gotta be the fastest horse

When the ops start to slump

——

Watch the pretty birdies

Fighting in the air

When the feathers cease to fall

They’ve come back to a pair

——

Now a path is open

An old one somehow new

Turns out I Am The Mountain

And I believe that you are too

CARDINAL

Never on the sideline

But ever on the road

Getting spun like Disco

From the future growing old

——

Leaves are dry and piled

The tree beareth no fruit

Having drunk the boldest drop

Concentrated, yet aloof

——

That piece doesn’t go there

I agonize its shape

Perhaps these walls that hold me

Bear the marks of my mistakes

——

Dab a little honey

Then roll it on your tongue

The sweetness of the softest taste

A delight more than fun

——

Cash goes in the zipper

Gun goes to my head

For once I am excited

Thrilled I am not dead

——

Working for a bastard

Being one to boot

Thinking I am better

When I’m rotten to my roots

——

Jesus take the wheel

But stay away from me

I’m giving up the notion

That I ever have been free

——

Gotta have that guard up

Gotta get the jump

Gotta be the fastest horse

When the ops start to slump

——

Watch the pretty birdies

Fighting in the air

When the feathers cease to fall

They’ve come back to a pair

——

Now a path is open

An old one somehow new

Turns out I Am The Mountain

And I believe that you are too

When things start to get better

And you’ve nothing left to lose

Follow this to the letter

There are details to the rules

One foot past the other

No laces dragging low

Forward to the gutter

Or from there, I suppose

Eat a stricter diet

Find repentance in the gym

Embrace your mind that’s quiet

Don’t give into worldly sin

Carry out a purpose

Or bury a regret

Give yourself to service

Then pay off the Final debt

Be an early riser

Breakfast tastes like success

Each day you grow wiser

Anything not to regress

Start a little family

Then take them to the shore

But try not to start rambling

In case they wanted more

In the distant future

Or somewhere in the past

The tie binds like a suture

Yet our faces are like masks

Reading to the next line

Before the eyes can see

The hidden rules that define

The faint outline of Me

It takes one to know one

Or at least that’s what they say

But learning not to hate oneself

That’s the lesson of the day

When things start to get better

And you’ve nothing left to lose

Follow this to the letter

There are details to the rules

One foot past the other

No laces dragging low

Forward to the gutter

Or from there, I suppose

Eat a stricter diet

Find repentance in the gym

Embrace your mind that’s quiet

Don’t give into worldly sin

Carry out a purpose

Or bury a regret

Give yourself to service

Then pay off the Final debt

Be an early riser

Breakfast tastes like success

Each day you grow wiser

Anything not to regress

Start a little family

Then take them to the shore

But try not to start rambling

In case they wanted more

In the distant future

Or somewhere in the past

The tie binds like a suture

Yet our faces are like masks

Reading to the next line

Before the eyes can see

The hidden rules that define

The faint outline of Me

It takes one to know one

Or at least that’s what they say

But learning not to hate oneself

That’s the lesson of the day

You were responding to me. I didn’t know it was you until it just clicked.

“That seat looks taken.”

So you were at the right table. I thought I was sparing you from what I was going through getting sober. I thought it was better you didn’t know what was happening.

But you were watching the whole fucking time! You were even using different accounts to anonymously comment on my posts! My feelings! You could see it the whole time and express your opinions ANONYMOUSLY BUT NOT TO ME DIRECTLY?! What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

Then you only break the silence to scold me after you read something that made you mad.

Holy fuck. I’ve beaten myself to death with my feelings for you. I was so grateful you couldn’t see how bad I suffered to get sober. I didn’t want it to affect how you saw me. But you could see and you just didn’t care! Not until it hurt your pride!

Well let me tell you something you couldn’t know from stalking me then. I tried to kill myself in April! I didn’t even know I wanted to! Would you have said anything if you knew that? I’m good now but I doubt that part actually matters to you either!

I feel so violated. You booked a front row seat to my “mid life crisis” as you called it. Did you make popcorn? Did you laugh at the funny parts? I know you weren’t crying for the sad ones.

Well then I was wrong when I responded to you on here. You were at the wrong table.