My husband’s brother is getting married, and my in-laws invited his fiancée’s family
I’d really like to hear other people’s perspectives on this situation.
My husband’s brother is getting married, and my in-laws invited his fiancée’s family over to their house for coffee and cake.
I had already told them well in advance that I wouldn’t be able to come because I had plans with a friend. I’m pregnant, we have a young son, and I rarely get time for myself or to see my friends. My husband often has his own plans, so when I finally make plans with a friend, they mean a lot to me.
We had already spent time with my in-laws two times that same week, so I didn’t see this gathering as something where my presence was essential. No one told me beforehand that it was especially important for me to be there.
Afterwards, I was told that it was disrespectful of me to prioritize my plans over meeting my brother-in-law’s future in-laws. I was honestly surprised because I never saw it as choosing my friend over my husband’s family. I simply kept a commitment I had already made.
My husband’s family is Arab, and I know that family gatherings and togetherness can carry a lot of cultural importance. So I’m genuinely wondering if there are cultural expectations I’m missing.
Personally, I think it’s unfortunate that this has turned into such a big issue. I feel that I generally make an effort to spend time with and show respect to my in-laws, especially since we’d already seen each other several times that week.
What do you think? Would you have cancelled an existing commitment to attend? Am I missing something, or does the reaction seem disproportionate?