i have no idea what to do with my life and how to feel better
im turning 20 this year and i remember when i was 13 i told my best friend at the time once i turn 15 im going to kill myself, so ever since ive turned 15 ive had no motivation no energy and no commitment to anything , i have 0 plans for the future and have never once kissed a girl or even held hands with one . i have this bottomless pit in my chest that seems to suck all the fun into the voidness . i have crazy anxiety that wont let me leave the house without my mother . im not even sure what the point in my life is. every day gets lonelier and lonelier and im stuck with my thoughts- should i have taken my life at fifteen is always on my mind . will i always feel this way? how do i feel the void in my heart thats been there since i was 13?