AITA for not wanting to spend Mother’s Day at my mother-in-law’s house?
I (28F) and my husband (26M) are having a disagreement about Mother’s Day plans.
This is only my second Mother’s Day. My first one was basically overlooked because my husband’s dad was dying and we spent most of the day at the hospital. Obviously I understood and didn’t make it about me because there were much bigger things happening.
Fast forward to this year. I work full time and I’m also the default parent a lot of the time. On Mother’s Day itself, I’ll already be alone with our toddler all morning while my husband works until late afternoon. I’m honestly not asking for much. I don’t need expensive gifts or some huge plan. I’d genuinely be happy with takeout and a peaceful evening.
My husband suggested we pick up dinner and bring it to his mom’s house. I do like his mom, but every major holiday there turns emotionally exhausting. She can go from perfectly fine to extremely sad very suddenly, usually because of things involving my husband’s 12-year-old sister, who struggles with anxiety. Sometimes his sister hides in her room or bathroom because she’s overwhelmed, which then completely changes the mood. My MIL focuses intensely on her, gets visibly upset, and then everyone else starts centering the entire holiday around managing the situation.
I understand anxiety is real and I’m not blaming a 12-year-old for struggling. But this exact pattern has happened during Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. multiple years in a row. The whole atmosphere becomes tense and depressing, and by the end of it I feel emotionally drained instead of enjoying the holiday.
I finally told my husband that I don’t want another depressing holiday and that for Mother’s Day I just want peace. Now I feel guilty because it’s his mom, but I also feel like I’m allowed to want one calm evening that’s actually enjoyable.
AITA?
Edit: thank you to all of the comments so far. I feel so validated. I was feeling so awful about this situation. Thanks again for all of the support. I’m definitely NOT going over to my MIL’s. If hubby wants to go that’s on him or we will drop something off and keep it moving!