Help me conclude if he is into me (23M) and (22F).
I have this male coworker, and i cant tell if he is or isnt into me.
Why i think he does like me:
- Really long conversations: After closing off work and the other coworkers of the shift go home we talk for hours, 1 on 1, about everthing. This has been going on for months and started as 20 minute conversations after work, about work topics. Over time it grew into much more, the most recent moment and the one before that our conversations lasted for hours, till the sun came up again, we talked about really personal stuff en had wine together. He actively extends our contact, even when i tell him that im about to go home soon.
- Remembers details: More and more i notice that he remembers the small details about me, like the fact that drink one specific kind of soda and the reason for it as well. Or the one time i told him a funny fact about myself, and then the next day at work i heard him talking about how he found out that funny fact from me to another male coworker.
- (almost) daily texting: We text more and more, about all sorts of things. We talk about personal stuff, personal plans, make fun of each other, have inside jokes, send each other random shit such as car pictures etc. Sometimes we text for hours on roll.
- Checks in: Recently i stated that i really didnt want to go to school the next day, and then he really showed interest as to why i didnt want to. Or he recommended a series, and some days later asked me how i liked it. Or when i laughed at a video he showed me, he asked if that was the kind of thing i liked.
- Into his world: He tells me more and more about his life, friends, plans etc. When the conversation had something to do with an text conversation he had with a friend, or our boss or whatever, he shows me the text on his phone. He really wanted my advice on decoration for his room, and came back to my opninion multiple times and agreed. Once he sort of invited me on vacation, but when i said that i didnt know what to say to that as it overwhelmed me in the moment he took the invited somewhat back?
- Banter: We CONSTANTLY had playfull banter, its the center of our contact. We make jokes about each other, but also have inside jokes with eachother. As of recent we also started having some playfights.
- Nicknames: We have nicknames for each other, which he started with.
- Eye contact: I catch him staring sometimes, in all sorts of settings. Sometimes from quite a difference, and sometimes close upon eachother when we're having a grouptalk with coworkers. Besides that, when we talk with each other, in group and 1-on-1 settings, we constantly hold eye contact.
- Middlefingers: When we catch each other but are to far apart to talk with each other we just point up our middelfingers to each other and then both get big smiles.
- Seeks me: When we are not already in conversation with each other, he comes looking for me, to share information he has, and sometimes just without any reason at all. He does this in real life, as well as over text.
- Lifts home: One of the most recent developments is that he offers to drive me home more and more, about every time at this point. Then he brings me home with a small detour, and he has never once asked me for any gasmoney.
- Small physical touches: We didnt ever touch each other before, but recently when we both had some alcohol we hugged for the first time, and we started having some small touches such als playfighting each others hands, brushing against each other, or touching each others arms/shoulders to get the attention instant of calling out our names.
- Random gifts: As of last week he also started offering me small things. Such as a small rock he found of a bite of his food when we had break together.
This is a rough sketch of the situation, i could tell even more that fit into these categories. And also good to know, our connection seems to grow more and more and he is consistent.
>!BUTTT!<
Then we have these signs:
- Situationship: Some months ago (when i myself had a troubled relationship on the edge of breaking, which he knew) he asked me advice about another woman with he was having intercourse with. He told me that he met her when she was still in a relationship, but that was breaking up. Then they started having intercourse. (The week after this my own relationship broke off). In the weeks around this he told me some things about this woman, but the storys were really, really, really vague and kept changing in details. Then for weeks, as our connection grew, he didnt talk about her. But just last week, as we were talking till the morning hours and the theme of intercourse came up, he made a comment about her again, which was a brag about him planning to have intercourse with her again. But again, the details around this story changed.
- Coworkers comments: Our coworkers have made a lot of comments about us flirting over the last months. When i was still in a relationship (and right after that break up) i actively brushed off those comments, and so did he. Now, when coworkers make such comments, i tend to stay quiet, and i have noticed him staying more quiet as well. But at the most recent event in which a coworker made a comment about us two, he did brush it of saying that was not the case. (he doesnt know i heard this conversation).
- No active steps: We spend hours together talking after work, about the most deep and emotional things, and playfighting each other with small physical touches. But he never made an attempt to kiss me or sum such thing, even tho there was a lot of possibility to.
- Outside work: We do spend more and more 1-on-1 time togheter, but he (nor me) never explicitly asked to get togheter outside of work. All our late night talks happen when we close off work and the rest of the coworkers leave, or when we bump into each other on the street. But he never asked me to get drinks on a random day at a restaurant or whatever.
- Tested: When i was starting to think that he became more and more into me, i wanted to verbally test if i could get something out of him. So when we were having a moment of banter while talking for hours after work, i slipped in a "Fuck youuu hahaha" when he joked about me. But then his reaction was something like "Weeeellll... No." But i really couldnt make up if he was serious in that moment.
We do have a bit of an confusing backstory, i used to have an relationship when i first started wondering about his intentions towards me. Over months our friendship grew stronger en stronger. Something that started as purely coworker contact during workhours grew into a small friendship and some texting about work once of twice per week outside workhours. My relationship broke of, we started getting closer, over the last month extremely close. But just before i became single 4 months ago he asked me advice about his situationship, about which the story so vague is that i cant conclude if its really true or not.