10 years of working… gone because of gambling
I’ve been working for almost 10 years now, and honestly, I never thought I’d reach a point where most of my savings would disappear because of gambling.
I still have my job, and I’m thankful for that. I still have a chance to recover. But accepting that I lost years of savings because of my own decisions was hard.
Last month, my PAGCOR self-exclusion finally became effective. I tested different gambling apps and sites myself, and confirmed that I’m already banned. Weirdly enough, seeing those rejections gave me peace.
One thing I realized is that gambling ads are literally everywhere now.
Facebook.
YouTube.
Social media.
Random sites.
Even porn sites lol.
The triggers never really stop, which makes quitting harder than people think. I even use a YouTube ad blocker extension now just to avoid seeing gambling ads all the time.
Also, small tip for anyone planning to apply for self-exclusion through PAGCOR: call them for updates instead of just emailing. Ask if there are missing requirements or follow up on your application status. Based on my experience, they seem to move faster when you actively call.
Another thing I learned the hard way:
sometimes you’re not even chasing the money anymore, you’re chasing the feeling of winning.
There were times I was already up 100x or even 300x, but I still kept playing because I wanted more. In the end, I’d lose everything again anyway.
Then after that comes the guilt.
The regret.
The “why did I do that again?” feeling.
Over and over.
I still have debts right now, but thankfully they’re digital debts and not from other people. If everything goes well, I should finish paying them by July, then hopefully start rebuilding properly again.
For anyone struggling with gambling addiction too:
Don’t wait until you lose everything before stopping.
Self-exclusion helps more than you think.
Don’t try to chase losses.
Avoid triggers as much as possible.
And be a bit kinder to yourself while recovering.
Just focus on moving forward little by little.
Anyway, I already have a full-time job, but I’m also looking for small sideline work on the side to help rebuild savings faster. Nothing heavy, just extra income if anyone knows legit online tasks, data annotation, or remote gigs.
Slow rebuild this time.