M26 - F26 My girlfriend thinks I only see her as a physical object and honestly I understand why she feels that way right now
A few days ago she found out I still had my ex’s number saved as a favorite on my phone. I genuinely don’t have feelings for my ex anymore, but from her perspective it looked terrible combined with other things she’s been feeling for a while mainly that I give her the bare minimum emotionally and make her feel more wanted physically than loved as a partner
She told me she’s disgusted, that the relationship isn’t worth fighting for, and she cried a lot. I cried too. At first I panicked and begged, which obviously made things worse. Then I sent one calm message basically saying:
- I love her deeply
- I understand I hurt her
- I’m willing to change and give her space
- I’m not asking her to instantly forgive me
That was 2 days ago. No response since. She also removed me from location sharing and is clearly pulling away, but she hasn’t directly said “we’re done.”
Tomorrow I’ll see her at work .....
My current plan is:
- Don’t send another text
- Be calm, respectful, and warm at work
- Don’t force a relationship conversation
- Give her space if she wants it
- If she says it’s over, ask for one proper face to face conversation and accept her answer with dignity
- Focus on showing change through actions over time instead of emotional speeches
I honestly don’t know if I’m handling this correctly or if I already destroyed the relationship beyond repair.
For people who’ve been on either side of this situation:
Did giving space actually help?
And what behaviors helped rebuild trust vs completely killed attraction/respect afterward?