**deep sigh** I never thought I’d post this here but I’ve been overwhelmed with a lot of emotion, hurt and confusion and don’t have anyone else to talk to (the irony). It’s a long one so I really appreciate anyone who reads this fully.
Backstory: I (23M) had reconnected with a close friend I had throughout high school in June of 2025. We didn’t speak for 4 years and out of the blue another friend called me and showed me who they were with and it was the person that I hadn’t seen or spoken to in years and from that same day we immediately reconnected and started talking like no time passed at all! This person not too long after that told their mom about me and raved about me how much of a good person I am and that she needs to meet me and how important I am to her, her mom (oops yes this person is a woman) then expressed that she wanted to meet me and literally 2-3 days later I ended up meeting both her mother and her father and from that point we were pretty much inseparable. She had a family event that she invited me to in July and introduced everyone to me as her “boy best friend”. I’ve been to her house multiple times for other events she’s had such as birthday parties or just to chat with her parents after hanging out. Her mom said I was always welcomed there. she hugged and greeted me Everytime I was there. We have eaten out at several different restaurants together, went to marshals together multiple times, mostly our hangouts consisted of just getting food but we’d talk about EVERYTHING. She confided in me about family issues she had and I was always there for her. Problems she had with her situation-ship even tho it was always the same problem (low effort, inconsistent behavior, sleep with her but wouldn’t commit) as annoyed as I was at times I was ALWAYS there for her. We’d talk on the phone for 1-3 hours at a time anytime she had a problem and wanted to call me. You name it. Everything was good until January of this year before I noticed a shift. More on that soon.
To clarify any assumptions right now this woman was in a situation ship with one of my close friends so no there was no romantic feelings at all strictly platonic. I did not have a crush on her, I always joked with her that I had a crush on her mom, aunts and that I wanted her to put me on with her female best friend and she would always laugh at that. Now back to the story ⬇️
To give a little more context, I am a homebody/introvert and shy. I don’t drink (no bars), I don’t like public events with huge crowds (public places to meet people) and I don’t have a large group of friends that I communicate with consistently. which is why this is bothering me more than it should because this was the only person I felt like I had that was my true companion. I’ve expressed multiple times that I really appreciate her and even wrote a 3 page letter on her birthday about how much I value our friendship and what she’s done for me. All of which she really appreciated and was receptive to.
The fallout/ the problem: now idk how to really explain this and to some people this may sound stupid but from late June of 2025 - January 2026 there was constant communication between us. Sometimes we wouldn’t speak for a few days at a time or a week at a time (nothing bad happened just didn’t speak) but mostly she would almost always check in with me, ask how I’m doing, invite me out for food and that would be our thing. Basically everything I said in the back story happened between that time frame ⬆️⬆️⬆️
The problem I’m having is since January 10th our last true conversation she has since stopped speaking to me regularly. We hung out January 4th or 6th and everything was fine until then from my knowledge BUT I’ll give a quick side story as it raises suspicions. Her and my friend were in a on and off situaionship from early June 2025 until I’d say about the same time she stopped talking to me. I’ve told her many times that it’s not healthy for her as they were both looking for different things and she realized that. She told me around December her and my other friend were done completely but they were still friendly around January close to the time we stopped talking (could’ve been hooking up although I never asked). Idk when exactly they stopped talking but I’m wondering if she stopped talking to him shortly after maybe she stopped talking to me based on “association”??? but from June of 2025 - January 2026 I was more closer to her than I was to him I felt at that time and she obviously knew that.
ANOTHER QUICK STORY: she has a female best friend who I met on our last hangout January 7th. It was just our usual hangout until her friend called and we picked her up because she needed to vent. Not much was said other than hi and we exchanged each others names but she would vent the whole time as my friend ended up taking me home and I sat quietly. Once we got to my house I was being funny and I told my friends best friend because she was upset “you seem like a kind hearted person” “don’t ever let anyone bring you down” “mija (yes I call my friend mija) you told me you didn’t have any friends outside of me I didn’t know you had any pretty ones” and lastly I said to her friend “if I never see you again I hope you have a good life and stay safe” my friend was laughing the whole time shaking her head cause she knows how goofy my personality is and her friend she seemed to be in a better mood she was laughing as well and said “you’re sweet thank you I hope you have a good life as well” me and my friend did our usual “bye i love you” farewell and I went inside feeling great.
It’s bittersweet thinking about that because sadly that was my last time seeing her and things/ conversations have changed since. BTW that same night my friend would tell me that HER friend said I was “cutesy” and that they were laughing at what I was saying and that her friend thought I was sweet and she kinda asked about me. I actually like her friend think she’s cute but sadly she has a “boyfriend” or whatever but he’s not good to her based on stories I heard … ANYWAYSSSS
Throughout that time I would constantly joke with her saying she needs to pmo with her friend and she would always laugh and say no. January 10th our last true conversation that’s mostly what our conversation consisted of but I didn’t think nothing of it. She also ft me that night but I don’t remember what it was about it was a quick call as the moment had passed and it was late at night. She would then not text me again until she responded to my message I sent her on Valentine’s Day. To which she responded “happy valentines (my name), miss you more ♥️” and then on February 21, something happened at my house I got into an argument with my mother and for the first time really I sent my friend a voice memo explaining the situation how I wanted to call her but didn’t wanna bring her into it but we need to get food soon. In the voice memo I also mentioned to her “why hasn’t she been texting me as often as normal” because she usually ALWAYS has something to tell me or calls me out the blue but she hasn’t texted me since January 10th when we were talking about her friend and the only other message was the reply back on Valentine’s Day. She responded 2 hours later and said “im out rn I’ll listen later” to which I understood and just waited but she never responded back to say anything… I was really upset that day and normally I let her be the one to vent and stuff because I keep things to myself or share little when asked but that day was really bad and I needed my friend but she wasn’t there to listen to me. I let it slide I said maybe just text her next time, she was busy, it’s whatever I’m over it. We didn’t talk at all in March. No messages were exchanged, I didn’t hear from her at all and haven’t since February 14 and January 10th.
This past Thursday April 23. She loves Korean bbq, she took me once and I loved it too and I said “this is our go to place outside of Olive Garden” I found a video of someone eating Korean bbq with a few meme/gifs and and I also sent her video of her just growling and being goofy on a day she was ranting to me. After the 3 memes and 1 video of her I said “I miss you mija” and yet again no response. That’s the last thing thats said in our messages. She has responded to me since February 14th and last time we really talked was January 10th so Valentine’s Day was my last time hearing from her. She has been posting on Snapchat of conversations she’s had with other people. She seems normal and happy. She’s hanging out with other people but I wouldn’t know who because what she always told me was “I don’t have any friends” and it genuinely seemed like she didn’t outside of her one female friend and 3 cousins she hangs out with but live next door to. I checked TikTok today after like two months because I only have two friends on there, her and another person. But today I only had one, I checked to see and it wasn’t her when last time I checked TikTok in January, she very much so was my second friend. I checked my followers and she’s no longer following me but I still followed her.
After I texted her April 23, she posted on Snapchat the day after of a conversation she had with someone and posted the day of when I texted her. The posts consists of messages between her and another person on iMessage (the app I texted her on) and apparently she hung out with someone that day but she’s always on her phone regardless who she hangs with. And she’s saying how she missed arguing with the person she was with and how it was good to hangout with them blah blah blah and I don’t remember what the caption said to the screenshot but it honestly threw me off. And since then I’ve had a pit feeling in my stomach like she’s just had a phase with me and it’s over. I’m not the type to beg someone or ask for closure of anything but like I’m genuinely confused by this and honestly hurt. She’s the only person I was actively hanging out with and would get me out to do things and try different foods. I keep trying to think was it her and my friends situationship that has her not talking to me?, is it because I kept asking about her friend? even though she knows it’s all jokes well kinda I still can’t seem to figure out why she’s not making an effort to reach out like she normally does and why unfollow me on TikTok but still follow my other friend who she had her situation with.
I probably sound jealous and hurt well because I kinda am, but more so just confused to why she didn’t respond to two of my I miss you texts and didn’t text me prior for a whole month. Just to think she told me I’d be a bridesmaid at her future wedding and how her WHOLE family has seen me numerous amount of times, and that she’d always be there when I needed her but the only two times I’ve recently needed her I didn’t even bother reaching out because she really isn’t showing me that she has interest in talking to me which honestly hurts. I don’t want to send another text because of fear of her not responding and two just looking crazy.
I rambled this whole time and I’m sorry, thank you to anyone that sees this but is there any advice for what I should do or sadly accept that maybe it was just for a season ? 😔 I was really lonely prior to speaking to her and now it seems like that’s how it’s gonna be again.