I want to get a feeling of comfort for my situation. Some of the details have been obscured, but the gist is accurate. This is a throw-away account, so please no DMs.
Currently, I am the sole trustee of several family trusts and estates, including charitable trusts and Henson trusts. I am the only living adult in the family with the capacity to manage said accounts. The assets total many millions, but not billions, of dollars. I have full authority to administer the trusts in accordance with the establishing documents.
My mom is elderly and pretty much incapable of handling her own affairs. She is in a care home and I am her POA.
I am a widow with no children. I held senior positions in corporate finance during my career.
My brother has a history of drug and gambling addictions (he is doing fine now). My sister-in-law is not incapacitated but has very poor impulse control and makes bad decisions when it comes to people and money.
My brother has three minor children (5,11, and 13). The two older have been diagnosed with ADHD.
The Henson trusts were set up by my parents several years ago for the benefit of my brother's children (there are trusts for each of them now). The charitable trusts were set up over the years by family members to fund specific charitable goals. There are also trusts to support my brother and I while we are alive, with the remainder going to the Henson trusts. The estates are for two other immediate family members who died over the last few years.
Managing these is a full-time job for me. I also have CPAs, investment advisors and lawyers I rely on for expertise. I have an especially close relationship with two of the lawyers at the small law firm I have used for the last 5 years.
The lawyers are very aligned with my approach to the assets. We discuss each request and reach consensus before I order the funds to be distributed.
I have already named them individually as my Enduring Powers of Attorney for my personal assets. They are named as individuals because some of the financial institutions will not accept a law firm as my POA. A close friend is my personal care POA.
My concern is that if I die or become incapacitated, I want someone I can trust to take over.
I am considering naming the two lawyers as successor trustees for all of the trusts and both estates. I am allowed to name my own successor. My brother could possibly object (not 100% sure on that - probably not on the Henson trusts since they are for his children), but I doubt he would. He is very glad to not have to deal with any of this and he gets along with the two lawyers just fine. The lawyers are both substantially younger than me (25+ years), so I feel good about the continuity.
My only qualm is that this leaves all the money in "foreign" hands. No one in the family is really prepared or capable to take over. I honestly feel it will all be much more successful if professionals run it (they are, of course, an estates and trusts firm). The charitable trusts are structured to be depleted over time, which could coincide with the termination of the last Henson trust, so it would probably be many decades before everything is said and done.
I would especially like to hear from lawyers in similar situations. What is your relationship like with these highly dependent clients? How much detail do you document when you take over management of assets? What are your concerns in this kind of relationship? Have you had your primary client die and then conflicts with other beneficiaries arise?