Hi everyone. Sorry this update has taken a long while to come about but it’s been a hectic time for me. I needed to let the dust settle and clear my thoughts before I came back to give everyone the final update. I do appreciate everyone who has reached out to check in on me and ask how things are going.
I’ll try to keep this brief but basically the relationship is done. It’s over. I took the minimal communication/cold shoulder approach whilst I planned my exit. On the weekend I planned to move out, things were delayed at the place I was supposed to go to so instead I treated myself to a long weekend away at a nice hotel spa resort type place about 2 hours away, it was great! She was surprised I went and asked a few questions but I just said I needed some me time and didn’t respond all weekend.
When I returned she was being extra nice for a few days, then she went all moody, then back to nice again. I noticed some obvious changes like she began leaving her phone alone but in a stupidly obvious way! Like literally leave it next to me on the sofa then leave the room lol. Don’t worry I didnt take the bate. She tried to initiate a few conversations with me about how upset she was that I didn’t trust her but I kept mostly quiet or just have empty answers like “it is what it is”. I could see this was frustrating for her. I also noticed she’s been doing a lot of work on her appearance with a new hairstyle, makeover and nails etc. She’s also bought a lot of new “summer” cloths which are quite revealing and not her typical style.
I have totally checked out though. I admit I was struggling and had to see a doctor and she put me on some antidepressants which have helped a lot. Now I can see things a lot clearer and my anxiety has gone way down. I’m in the process of moving out now and I’ve stayed away a lot at my parent’s house but I will be finally moving in with my cousin this weekend. I’ve booked myself a weeks holiday away in 4 weeks so I’m looking forward to that. I’m also looking at a few new career ideas and also reigniting some old hobbies and interests. Things are finally looking up for me.
My advice for anyone who has been following this and is in a similar situation is to always listen to your gut feelings. Something deep inside us all knows when something isn’t right. I can’t offer a great way to find the answers because we’re all different in what we need to find out but for me I got my answers and that was enough for me to move on with a clear conscience. All the little things she did added up to an emotional affair at the very least and I think it may have gone beyond that because she had at least 2 random disappearing moments which her friend was obviously an accomplice to. One was so blatant I actually laughed! She was sat near me texting someone and she suddenly turned to me and said “oh my friend needs me to watch her kid for an hour as she needs to go shopping!” Then she showed me the message lol. I was just an awful attempt at being genuine. So she goes out for an hour or so. This is the second time this friend needed her at short notice within a week. She never asked her anything like this in the previous 10 years lol!
So yeah that kind of crap is the reason I can move on knowing I’m doing the right thing. I told her I’m moving out and she said she’ll ask a different friend to move in to the spare room because she’s having trouble in her relationship. I said we’ll have to sit down and talk about the house situation at a later date but for now I just want to get out and focus on myself for a while. The house and finances can wait.
Thanks again for all the advice and support I got through all this, I do really appreciate it and it’s been a great help! Much love to everyone!