u/FarmerNational2859

How is it parenting with someone who has BPD?

I can already see some major issues surfacing with our kid and my BPD. For one ... she's not really doing anything. At least not in any capacity i can say is even min to moderate effort. Importantly she is parentifying our kid at an early age which is not good. She got done talking to family members and they all unanimously agreed i need to do more. This is me, the guy who makes all the money, has zero expectations of her, pretty much cleans up after her when i can, takes care of the kik 75% of the time. But their issue is sometimes i dont do certain house chores and i shouldnt expect my poor BPD to do them. The same woman who essentially sits on the couch all day, snacks all day, and does close to nothing. That same woman is apparently oh so overworked the idea of having to lift a finger for someone else is making her have anxiety. I dont even understand how, outside my BPD blatantly lying anyone came to that conclusion. She probably did what she always does, blatantly ignored everyone else's efforts, focusing on what she does, maximizing her efforts, and completely ignoring other people. Sometimes i like to remind her i pay bills and rents, and she has a deer in the headlights face, as if she just assumes she was paying these things ...

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u/FarmerNational2859 — 7 days ago

My BPD has to be a very entitled but also delusional person. Essentially if i ever lose my job, the divorce is gonna be inevitable, as my BPD will fight tooth and nail to continue spending as she sees fit. A lot of this is fueled by my BPD's family. The family has a habit of giving my BPD asinine ideas of striving for a relationship that doesn't exist. It has never existed, and it will never exist in the history of relationships. I don't even understand how the advice being given classifies as a relationship. It's not, it's a handbook on how to train someone to be a doormat.

Whenever my BPD talks about what she deserves, she claims that based off her limited Instagram and AI perusing this is normal, that her lifestyle is expected. When she uses the AI she heavily biases the responses by specifying only one part, ignoring the second part. The AI isnt technically wrong from an answering the question, but also is due to missing a lot of context. To understand her lifestyle, she wants the ability to spend thousands at will, and make financial decisions by her family proxies without bothering to ask me.

I've been looking at the news and most of it is market slowdown, sector crashes, mass layoffs, job hugging, outsourcing issues, commodity issues due to geographical problems, rampant inflation. My boss even said as much, if he could hire more he would, but with all the uncertainty why take the chance? I agree with him too. It sucks for sure, but that's the reality of employment in America right now.

Nothing in my news feed, job, or anything i see daily is showing me this vision she's pushing as it doesn't exist. Most people in any position are losing their jobs, not gaining them. The person she is talking about as normal is maybe 1 in 100,000 guys, and even then, its not guaranteed. The well off dude could come through hard times as well. And my BPD would give zero shits as long as her own lifestyle isnt interrupted.

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u/FarmerNational2859 — 17 days ago