Pregnancy after loss is lonely
Hi all,
I’m in week 7 of pregnancy, we were lucky enough to see baby’s heartbeat this week which we are so grateful for. I was hoping it would bring comfort , but it’s actually brought more confusion and anxiety.
I lost my baby girl after 36 hours due to a very rare form of Leukemia that was not known about until after she was born (at 39 weeks). We lost our daughter in November.
This pregnancy is obviously very different to my previous two . I feel grateful, anxious, guilty, sad and everything in between . My brain won’t allow excitement (which in turn makes me guilty) and it certainly won’t allow me to foresee a healthy baby at the end of all this .
It’s also lonely . I can’t relate to other people who are pregnant around me as I sadly don’t share the same naivety that everything is going to be ok. I don’t feel like my midwife understands either. Going into midwife appointments, and especially hospital where we had our first ultrasound brought back all the trauma.
Has anyone any advice on how to cope ? I’m incredibly lucky to have a LC who is a 2 year old whirlwind and keeps me occupied. But when he’s napping or in bed my brain immediately goes to negative thoughts.
Wishing everyone here a peaceful, healthy pregnancy.