u/Fast_Concentrate_975

Hello everyone,

My friend is getting married next year and originally chose three bridesmaids, including me. She picked one very specific bridesmaid dress same brand, same cut, same style — and it costs $300. The issue is that the dress only goes up to a certain size, and one of the bridesmaids we’ll call her “Karla” simply cannot fit into it.

We suggested a compromise: same color, different styles, so everyone could feel comfortable. The bride refused. She said she wanted everyone in the exact same dress because “it’s her wedding.”

Then she ended up dropping Karla entirely because the she “ couldn’t” get the dress on time which would be now and wedding is schedule for next fall/ winter

After that, she changed things again. She told us she wanted to remove hair and makeup from the plan because it was too expensive. Then she switched again and said we don’t need to get our hair done, but we do still need to pay for makeup which lowered the cost, but the whole situation felt chaotic.

The part that bothers me is this: she’s a SAHM, doesn’t make her own income, and I honestly thought she’d be more considerate about the financial side especially toward someone ( Karla) who also doesn’t work and can’t afford a $300 dress as of this moment that doesn’t even come in her size.

I talked to her privately and told her I understand it’s her wedding, but if she knew she wanted a very specific dress, she shouldn’t have asked that girl to be a bridesmaid in the first place. She said she “didn’t know” and “wasn’t thinking at the time.”

One of her friends (not in the bridal party) overheard and said the bride did nothing wrong because “it’s her wedding.” Sure, it is her wedding but morally, how do you justify asking someone to buy a $300 dress they can’t fit into, and then basically telling them they can’t be part of the wedding because of it?

I’m trying to figure out if I’m being unreasonable or if this really is inconsiderate.

I’m one of the bridesmaids in my friend’s upcoming wedding. I’ve known the bride for over 10 years. She’s a stay‑at‑home mom and her fiancé fully provides for her, including giving her spending money. She originally chose four bridesmaids.

The bride picked a very specific bridesmaid dress one style, one color, one brand and it costs $300. The problem is that the dress only goes up to XXL about a month ago.

One of the bridesmaids (who is now no longer in the wedding) is plus‑size and the dress doesn’t fit her. All of us tried suggesting that the bride pick a color and let us choose our own styles so everyone could find something flattering and size‑inclusive. The bride refused because she wanted everyone in the exact same dress.

The plus‑size bridesmaid said she would try to lose weight to fit into it, but she’s also a stay‑at‑home mom whose boyfriend only covers bills he doesn’t give her extra spending money. I’ve known both of them for years, so I know she genuinely doesn’t have the funds right now.

The bride started getting antsy because she didn’t see her “putting in effort” to lose weight or buying the dress to try it on. The bridesmaid kept saying maybe she could buy it in July (the wedding is in January). She also said that if the dress didn’t fit, she wouldn’t feel comfortable being in the bridal party.

Eventually the bride sent a group message asking everyone to confirm if they were for sure committed to being bridesmaids. The bridesmaid says yes but she doesn't know when she can get the dress also this is dependent if she loses weight since she said she wouldn't feel comfortable wearing that specific dress unless she lost weight so the bride removed her from the bridal party.

Afterward, the removed bridesmaid messaged me privately saying she thought the bride would understand her situation since they’re both stay‑at‑home moms. But honestly, their situations aren’t the same the bride’s fiancé gives her money for things, while the other bridesmaid’s partner does not. They can’t even afford date nights.

I can see both sides:

• The removed bridesmaid wasn’t committing or taking steps toward buying the dress. But she did say maybe she can get in a month or two.

• But the bride also chose a dress that wasn’t size‑inclusive and expected someone to lose weight to fit it.

Was the bride wrong here, or was she justified since the bridesmaid wasn’t committing?

I feel so awkward in this position since they are both close friends.