Need advice 27m 25F what’s the best way to navigate this ?
THIS IS WORTH THE READ
was involved with a girl for about two years and during the last year of the relationship things became extremely confusing and emotionally unhealthy. Around late 2025 she became distant, cold, inconsistent, and would disappear for days at a time, but at the same time she still continued acting emotionally attached to me. She would still come over to my apartment, sleep over, cuddle with me, kiss me hello and goodbye, ask to stay at my place, go grocery shopping with me, and sometimes even refer to my apartment as “our home.” She would also still get jealous or possessive over other girls, which made it impossible for me to understand where we actually stood emotionally. Because of all of that, I never truly felt like we had broken up even though she later described it as us being on a “break.” She would always lash out and yell at me and curse at me. She would always ditch me and stand me up and go to bars throughout our relationship. I always felt something was off and I would always kind of pull up and drive by and see her car not by your house in the morning and see her car still at the bar. She would lie about where she was sleeping at night turn her location off and etc..
From January–March 2026 I kept asking her why she was disappearing and emotionally distancing herself, but she never directly told me she was seriously involved with another guy. On March 19, 2026, she went to a music festival and I eventually found out about the other guy through his Instagram story, which completely shattered me because months of confusing behavior suddenly started making sense all at once. I felt blindsided, humiliated, and emotionally destroyed because while I still believed we were emotionally involved and eventually fixing things, she had already started moving toward another relationship without clearly telling me. If she went to my apartment, we had a conversation and she told me that the guy did not compare to me and that she was just self-sabotaging and didn’t know what she was doing. She told me there was still a chance we would get back together. But I later found out she had been lying about the situation for the past year and had been getting close to this guy while still being with me, which explained her behavior. After our conversation, she was very sweet with me, asking about my day, telling me sweet dreams at night, and still asking to come over to my apartment to hang out. Every time she came over, she would ask to stay and then disappear around four in the morning. I posted stories on my close friends page of other girls I was getting close to and talking to, and she told me she wasn’t going to let any other girl “take what’s mine” and that she wasn’t okay with me posting other girls on my close friends story. When I would block her, she would make burner numbers and still try to talk to me. Then I saw on a story that she was still hanging out with the other guy.
Eventually I spiraled emotionally from the confusion, betrayal, and lack of closure. I ended up sending screenshots of messages she had sent me to the other guy because I felt like he deserved to know she was still emotionally involved with me and acting possessive while talking to him. After that, everything exploded emotionally. The other guy started mocking and insulting me, threatening my parents, showing up at my job, calling me a stalker, and saying things like he was going to “blow her back out” and that I should “go cry about it.”
On April 18, 2026, she called me to return her belongings and promised me we would eventually have a conversation, but never followed through. She later called me several times from blocked/no-caller-ID numbers on April 22, May 2, and May 4, but never actually spoke to me directly again after April 13. Meanwhile I completely spiraled emotionally and sent hundreds of messages trying to understand why she kept me emotionally attached while secretly moving toward another relationship instead of just clearly ending things from the beginning.
By May 2026 I was still stuck between hope and heartbreak because she never fully gave me a clean ending or direct closure. Eventually I deleted Instagram, blocked her, and started trying to finally stop the cycle because constantly checking stories, posts, likes, and waiting for responses was destroying my mental health.