How do deal with a troublesome elderly parents with criminal record?
Hi everyone, posting this more so on behalf of my bf. It’s not necessarily my issue but I do feel like his troubles are mine and vice versa and we are trying to figure out the next steps together.
So my boyfriend’s mom is a “recovered” addict. She spent essentially her entire adult life on hard drugs. By 14 he lived fully with his grandparents and his relationship with his mom was minimal. Close to 5 years ago he decided to take his mother into his home. He went to see her, at this point she was in her early 60s, and very much deep into addiction. Believing he couldn’t just abandon her, he took her in and multiple overdoses later she became sober. She was sober from essentially all drugs for about 2 years until about a year ago she started thc gummies, that has progressed to smoking weed. She is now high to some degree pretty much 24/7.
He recently move in October after his rent got raised, we believe because the previous landlord was smelling the weed in the hose and didnt like it. The new landlord also has a no smoking policy. There’s also other things the new landlord has asked the mother not to do such as feeding pigeons in front of neighbors homes. Yesterday she decided to feed the birds with spaghetti. When the landlord recently confronted her again about this she cursed the landlord out. She claimed that she was not a renter and this was her effing house. (This woman has fried her brain) While the landlord is not angry at my bf and understands that this woman is difficult they are now asking my boyfriend to leave.
Now here comes the dilemma. My bf basically lives with me full time at this point. The apartment he has, has his name on the lease. But he is basically paying for an apartment for the sake of his mother. He doesn’t want to get another place with her because it’s a large expense for him when he is not living in the place. He also feels like this behavior will continue and it’s a risk to his renting history. She’s gets 2k a month in social security and if she was reliable he would be willing to pay part of her rent. However he doesn’t want to cosign anything for her because he realizes she is getting back into drugs and now wants to spend her money on that. So she is not reliable.
To top it all off this woman has a criminal history from about 10 years ago.
What are her options? Can we get her into some sort of elderly homes or independent living for older people? Or would she be disqualified? She does all her own grocery shopping, laundry and daily tasks so she doesn’t need anyone to really take care of her physically.