AITAH for having female friends
I (20M) started talking to this new girl (25F), and things moved really quickly between us. At first, she wasn’t replying to my messages because, of course, she didn’t know who I was. But just this Monday, I sent her some reels, and that’s where we actually started talking because I joked around with her and made her laugh.
That same day, I had an interview, so we didn’t talk much while I was out. But when I got home, I texted her again, and she playfully complained that I hadn’t messaged her all day. We ended up talking the whole night. She asked for a photo of me, so I sent one, and she told me I was cute. Then she asked what job I was applying for, but instead of answering seriously, I jokingly said I was a “macho dancer.” She told me to dance for her, but I said I don’t dance, so she just asked me to show the “macho” part instead. I sent another picture, and after that, she started calling me “baby.” I played along too, but honestly, I wouldn’t have done that on the first day if she hadn’t initiated it first.
The next day, I had another interview. Before leaving, I told her I was going to shower, and out of nowhere she asked if she could watch. I didn’t really mind, so we called while I showered. During the call, though, she kept insisting that I lower my phone camera more. I know this sounds awkward to read, but I’m bringing it up because I don’t normally do things like that. Not that I completely minded, but everything was moving very fast. When I refused to lower the camera, she got upset, and I explained that I’m just not comfortable doing that kind of stuff.
Later that day, while I was out, I kept updating her constantly, but she’s a very jealous person. She kept insisting that I was out on a date and even asked if I was “done having my date.” I tried showing her proof that I wasn’t, but she still didn’t believe me. Thankfully, I was able to calm her down.
We planned to watch a movie that night and maybe play games afterward. When I got home, I told her I was going to work out first. During my workouts, I usually scroll through TikTok between sets just to pass time. I didn’t reply to her immediately because her last message was just “okay,” but she got upset that I could repost TikToks while not replying to her messages. I explained my side, but she still got upset again.
After my workout, I asked her what was wrong, and she told me she thought I was talking to another girl because I hadn’t been texting her much. I explained my routine and apologized to her.
The next day, I had another interview because I’m trying to maximize my opportunities, especially since some previous offers didn’t meet the salary I wanted. Again, while I was out, she accused me of being on a date. I kept updating her the whole time, except around 6 PM, when my SIM card suddenly disconnected from my phone and stopped being recognized. I didn’t have a pin to open the SIM tray, and I also couldn’t use my phone during the interview, so I just waited it out and played the only offline game I had.
When I got home, I explained everything to her and even showed her screenshots of my phone. Before I could explain, though, I saw all her messages and TikToks spiraling into anxiety about me supposedly talking to someone else. Again, I managed to calm her down, but at that point, it was already getting tiring, and we had only been talking for three days.
On the fourth day, I had yet another interview. Same situation again. This time, I directly asked her if she genuinely believed I was talking to someone else. She said yes because I had been going out four days in a row. I told her I wished she would stop assuming that because I barely even had money to go on dates, let alone treat myself. I explained that I didn’t even want to be outside in the heat and would rather stay home in bed. She just replied with “okay” and told me to be careful.
When I got home, I showed her some appreciation through chat, and she asked why I was being so sweet “all of a sudden,” even though I’d always been sweet to her and was just being a little extra that night.
Later, I asked her why she never talked during our calls or movie nights because I had genuinely never heard her voice before. I told her it was okay if she was shy. She said she was shy, and I accepted that. But then she asked if that was what I wanted. The tone felt different, almost like a trap question, so I hesitated to answer. She then answered it herself and said that if I wanted someone who would actually talk to me during calls, then I should just find someone else. Once again, I had to calm her down, and we ended up watching the movie she wanted to rewatch until she fell asleep.
The next morning, I reassured her again that I wasn’t talking to anyone else and even showed proof, but she still refused to believe me. Then she brought up the fact that I have a lot of girl friends on my account. I explained that they’re classmates and friends I’ve known from elementary school through college. I’m naturally very close with my friends, both guys and girls, but I know my boundaries.
The mistake I made was trying too hard to prove myself. I showed her two conversations with friends to reassure her, but instead, she used them against me and insisted I was “entertaining” other girls.
The first conversation was with a friend asking me for weight loss advice because I work out, so I gave her tips. The last time we talked before that was Sunday. The second conversation was with a younger girl I treat like a little sister. I helped her graduate from high school, and she was messaging me because she was grieving the death of her brother’s wife and was at the funeral. The last message there was from Wednesday.
Even after explaining everything, she kept insisting that those girls were flirting with me and that I was entertaining them while talking to her. I told her the younger girl is literally 15 and that there’s absolutely nothing inappropriate between us. Still, she didn’t believe me.
In the end, she told me I’m not like her because she doesn’t talk to anyone, and even her own family struggles to reach her. She doubled down by saying she could replace me anytime, but she just chooses not to talk to people. Right after that, she sent me a screenshot of her Instagram DMs full of guys messaging her.