I miss playing my viola so muc
Just a rant ( long )
I picked up playing the viola randomly when I was younger, during 5th grade. They were showcasing choir, band, and orchestra at my school. Orchestra caught my attention because the teacher had such a funny looking face while playing. So I joined. I picked viola mostly because I thought the violin was overrated but didnt want anything to heavy. I kept going till covid hit.
I missed out on my 7th and 8th grade Orchestra. For 9th grade I was able to return. I joined this camp thing Orchestra was doing, made me realize I really did want to keep doing it. I struggle with putting emotion into it a lot but, thats mostly because I was scared, of what? Im honestly still not sure.
From 9th all the way up to 12th grade I was becoming better. However, the viola i was using was not mine. I have a deep affection for music and art in general, i really love when people combine their skills with emotion, just amazing. I wanted to be like that too. I tried getting a job during junior year, didnt work out, same with senior year.
My parents have little money, I couldn't just ask them, thatd be too greedy. I graduated without having an instrument of my own. I got a job for a little bit but had to quit because the schedule for college I got was ass and it wasn't going to work. At the moment, I am agonizing and in deep sadness. I want it back. From the job I had for a little bit, the money wouldn't even cover a little bit.
My dad ended up passing away in January, so I had to put everything aside. He was my biggest help in many ways. Ill miss him. And now with him gone, I cant dwel on this damn instrument anymore, I need to pay bills but secure a part time first. Its so hard, I just want to feel good again.
Seeing edits about music or orchestras on social media make me so sad and I cant help but cry. Didnt realize how much I actually liked playing the damn thing. Named her milk too.