u/Feisty_Event_5404

So for the past 4 days I haven’t been reaching out and then i sent one message saying they really miss him. He said he’ll come shortly. He knocked on the door and this time stood on the doorstep and asked if he’s allowed to come in. I brought him to the other room he sat down and I brought tea and some food.
He played with the kids and then sent them to the other room. He started apologising like mad and saying he was sorry and that he didn’t know what got into him.

He said that it upset him and he felt like I was taking priority over my family with the kids when it should be equal. He kept asking me to come home and I didn’t know what to say. I explained to him that I appreciate the apology but what’s different from all the other times he apologised. He goes he actually means it this time and that he just gets overwhelmed at times.

I told him to give me a week or so to think on it and he’s welcome to come any time.

But I’m not sure what to actually say to him. If I go back how do I put my foot down so it doesn’t happen again?.

Asalamualaikum.

Me and my husband have been married around 7 years and we have 5 year old twins. Over the course of our marriage when the kids were around 2 he started becoming quite volatile with me. Never abusive never hit me and was great with our kids but it’s like he would just take his frustration out on me verbally and he was nasty. Eventually it got to a point where I couldn’t deal with it anymore because he wasn’t really helping in any way he was just making me feel worse. Complained about absolutely everything.

Many conversations were had where he apologised but the next day would do the same thing.

So I decided we needed a break. I took my things and went back to my mother’s house. He knows it’s a break I let him know aswell. I got my father involved and he came to get me. Ever since then he comes to the see the children but won’t come inside and won’t speak to me. He just stands in the drive or sometimes near the gate after he’s knocked. My father and mother always tell him to come in because he’s always welcome. He refuses.

This Eid the agreement was that the kids would spend the first half of the day with me and then the rest of the day with him and his family (he insisted he didn’t want me celebrating with his family). He came around 3pm to pick them up and all the children were doing a pass the parcel (a party game) I interrupted and told them their dad is outside they were tantruming because they wanted to finish the game so I texted him to tell him it will take about 10 minutes.

I get to the door and he’s gone and his cars gone. I texted him because I got worried I wasn’t sure what the problem was. No response. Then I received a message saying I’m their father and I take priority over a stupid party game have some respect for me. That wasn’t my intention to make him feel like that. Since Wednesday he has not texted at all to see the kids and he usually came daily. I text everyday saying the kids are free whenever you would like to see them and have been getting no response.

I am not sure where to go with this.