Pregnant Girlfriend Resents Me
I feel a little ashamed even putting this on reddit and just praying someone responds atp.
My girlfriend and I found out she was pregnant 4 weeks ago. Some context, I am 22 she is 21. It was sort of planned, she wanted it and i did too, so we did not prevent it. We have had plans of getting engaged within the next few weeks for quite some time.
Since we found out, we have had some problems. It started off as nothing but hormonal problems & she would come back around. Lately in the past 2 weeks though, she has broken up with me 4 times. We had an altercation due to me not telling her I drank a beer at work 2 weeks ago (* I should have told her, she needs to have trust right now. It was stupid) - and that night she broke up with me, shoved me, and told me things like “Die in a hole” “You deserve nothing” “ I hate you”, among other things i dont want to revisit. After this, we made up and she was back on the relationship and we seemed fine.
No major problems in the past week, I figured i just needed to be there and let her feel things how she feels them. I have been tirelessly trying to support her. Holding her when she cries, getting her food, doing all the chores around the house, giving her space when she asks. She tells me i’m not listening and I make her miserable & she dreads me coming home from work. I’m obviously doing something wrong or not supporting her properly, but it feels like a damned if i do damned if i dont.
Today (and this isnt necessarily the first time ive heard this since finding out) she told me she feels nothing towards me. She said I make her extremely unhappy and she said she is very resentful towards me. She said she feels stuck with me and no matter what I do she will be stuck with me. I asked her if I need to leave the relationship and give her some space, she told me multiple times to please leave her (break up with her).
Beyond our relationship, she has said things like “I’m losing my Life, I’m stuck, I ruined my life, I made a mistake, i want to die, I dont want a baby”. Its confusing & painful to hear (despite me understanding she cant help these feelings) - because this was what we wanted to happen. I hate she can’t be happy right now because I know she could be, and i know she will be a fantastic mother.
Essentially, I don’t think she’s treating me great. Regardless, I want to be there for her. I wanted and want us to be a family together. I know i’m probably missing some things for her but I am trying my hardest to be what she needs. It feels hopeless. I love her deeply and I hate the thought i ruined everything for us and her life.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.