ADHD people need to get their shit together
I know, I know. It sounds awful but hear me out. There’s been a surge of ADHD adults taking on adult responsibilities, fucking them up, and then blaming it on the adhd.
“I forgot to put the mince out because of my adhd. I can’t clean my house due to adhd. I got bored of my partner because I’m adhd. I got fired from my job because of my adhd.”
No. You forgot to put the mince out because you didn’t ensure you would remember by doing something that works for your brain, like an alarm or sticky note. You can’t clean your house because you don’t have any self-built scaffolding to help kick the executive dysfunction. You got bored of your partner because you blocked out all of your other loved ones and spent 18 hours every day for two months with them. You got fired from your job because you were late or didn’t show up, which is unacceptable.
The bottom line for me boils down to picking a goddamn lane. Are you an adult capable of working a job, maintaining a healthy relationship, and living independently? If the answer is yes, prove it. If the answer is no, then don’t interview for the job you know you don’t care enough to keep. Don’t ask someone out who you KNOW will end up becoming an unpaid caregiver and start researching disability services online. If the answer is no, then find a group home to live in with nurses or trained caregivers.
Most Reddit posts centering around adhd are just circle jerks for ADHDers who have claimed a level of responsibility they know they either don’t care to maintain or can’t maintain. The amount of time I’ve seen conversations that go like “I hate it when my partner reminds me to do the dishes I said I’d do!” “I know right! Can’t they just understand how hard it is for me🥺??”
YES. adhd is a spectrum. But when you are actively choosing to hurt and inconvenience people by taking on responsibilities and then not fulfilling them… that’s on you. There is zero shame with admitting you need a caregiver or government help. I will fight to the fucking death to protect that right for every single person who needs it. But you cannot be averse to THAT life and then damage the lives of others because you refuse to take accountability, seek out medicine, seek out therapy, learn self regulation skills.
I KNOW there are adhd people who are going to come at me about how hard it is to even get started, and how overwhelming it is, how it’s so scary and makes them panic. Guess what? We all have tough shit to go through. I know it’s painful but you gotta have bite to match your bark.