u/Ferretlover4

Im getting married this week and I have fallen into Luteal phase pretty damn hard. There is so much to do, so much planning, so much to think about yet I feel like a dull, angry, uninterested zombie.

Every time someone asks me a question it just sparks my inner rage. I just want to lay in bed. I’m super puffy now, when I got up this morning I couldn’t believe how bloated I am. The brain fog is here. Everything is pissing me off so hardcore which isn’t how I want to be, this is supposed to be a happy time. I’m extremely hungry now too which is adding to the bloat.

It’s making me feel terrible because I didn’t want to be in luteal during my wedding. I feel like I’m going to ruin the day by losing my shit or by being so so tired. I’m going to look worse in my photos than if I was in follicular phase. Just the thought of what if angers me a lot but I can’t push the wedding and there was no way of working around the date and planning so far in advance.

I just feel so alone. I feel like it’s wrong to be feeling this way during such a happy time in my life and I am happy. My fiance is amazing and so helpful during all of my PMDD episodes and being supportive with my anxiety and OCD. It’s not that I’m not excited it’s that my body is holding me back from expressing that and I just feel like shit.

I honestly have no idea what to do to make myself feel better.

Basically what the title says. I’m 24 and have been a Law Clerk since 2021, with a 1 year break in 2023. Mainly doing real estate, some corporate and a tad bit of Wills. I’m really thinking of leaving the field and going into something else entirely but I don’t know what. I completely regret going to school for the Law Clerk program right out of high school. I’ve worked in 4 different firms now in 3 different towns ranging from a large firm of 20 of us down to being the sole clerk to a sole practitioner. The pay sucks everywhere, I’ve constantly been treated like I’m lesser than, there’s no good benefits, no pension. My job is either so stressful that I have nightmares about clients or it is so boring that the day feels like it’s 90 hours instead of 9. I look at so many older clerks and they all seem underpaid, unhappy and waiting for retirement.

I’ve been at the firm I’m currently at for 7 months now. It’s fine and my boss is great but it just sits so wrong with me seeing what clients are being charged compared to the kind of pay I get. My boss can’t stand when I make mistakes which gives me a lot of anxiety and the real estate market is dead so I feel so bored most days.

I definitely am not looking to switch to a passion job, I’ve tried that already (horticulture) and it failed, so there I went crawling back to the law field. I’m not looking to feel like I am super fulfilled at my job or like I have the best job in the world. I just want a decent pay with pension, to feel valued and to not hate what I do.

Ideally I’d like to switch over to working into local government, or the Ministry of Natural Resources, or something along those lines.

I just feel so stuck but I don’t want to make the wrong move. Has anybody else left the field and regretted it? Into a different line of work preferably administrative? I’m not looking to be a leader but I also don’t want to be a receptionist, although I know sometimes that’s where you gotta stat.