Mixed signals with this guy I like
There's this guy I like. I met him through a long-time friend from high school. I had talked to this guy before via text messages, but we never met in person. At that time, I thought he was cute, but I was told he had a girlfriend, so I automatically didn’t want any part of that.
Three years later, my friend had a birthday gathering, and that same guy was there. We had some small conversations, and it felt a little awkward, but I thought he was silly, nice, and charming. A month passed, and my friend told me that he had broken up with his girlfriend a year prior. I asked my friend to see if he was interested in talking to me, and he said yes. We started texting, and everything was going well for two weeks.
Then there was a shift. He got nervous and started asking questions like, "Are we a good fit?" or "Will we be right for each other?" But that felt too soon to be discussing. He was the one being flirty, asking personal and sexual questions, wanting to meet up and hang out, and then it all stopped after he started overthinking. He mentioned that he was a hopeless romantic. This whole situation has been so confusing, and I don’t know what this is anymore. Plus, he takes hours to text back, and if I don’t text him, he won’t text me at all.
I even told him, "Why am I even trying if you’re not showing interest?" He replied that he does that with everyone but eventually texts back. Others have told me he has a habit of ghosting for long periods, which rubs people the wrong way. He told me that if I couldn’t handle it anymore, I could step back, and we would still be good.
I called him and asked what this was between us. He said sometimes I show that I like him, or I just want to be friends, but I told him I didn’t want to be friends at all. He said he isn’t in the right headspace to give me anything resembling a relationship because he’s going through a lot, and it wouldn’t be fair to me. He added that if I were to have feelings for him, he would shoot me down. But honestly, it’s too soon for that anyway, so I wasn’t thinking about a relationship.
Others have told me he’s giving mixed signals and doesn’t know what he wants, and that I should leave him alone. Honestly, I’m starting to feel like doing that right now and just stepping back from everything. We were very honest from the start, but now it feels like I’m just begging and chasing him.