Disconnect with Sister in Law
I feel like i've always wanted to having a close relationship with my husband sister but I don't get the vibe she wants to have a close relationship with me. Without getting into the nitty gritty but also giving you context, my husband and her have a strained/basically non existent relationship due to unhealed childhood & sibling trauma.
I partially understand that she may not trust or want to be close to me because of the damaged relationship she has with her brother but I just have a hard time accepting it because I think shes cool & enjoy spending quality time with her. From her perspective I think she would say we are close & in reference to other friendships, i've even heard her say she doesn't measure closeness by proximity or frequency of hang outs, but also, I only see and hear from her if I reach out first.
I think what stings the most about all of this is watching her grow close to a friend I introduced her to (lets call her V). So close that V actually lived with her and her husband for a short period of time. Now V, the friend I introduced her to, basically has the relationship with her that i've always wanted. I've never experienced introducing 2 people who grow a strong bond & not being included in that bond. They talk weekly, have a natural bond, and share emotional things with each other etc. I hate that I get jealous but V is constantly bringing up how much she loves my sister in law & how close they are & while i'm happy for them i'm also jealous.
Anyway I texted her Happy Mothers Day & didn't get a response. She usually does answer even if its a day late so I was surprised she didn't respond. Am i irrational for thinking it's crazy that she didn't acknowledge it yet?
She is VERY big & serious about her boundaries & what she puts her time and energy towards. I understand life as a new mom is busy & everything doesn't revolve around me but I also feel like i've made several attempts to establish a close relationship (like I have with my other sister in law) & seeing the effort and love she showed with V, makes it hard not to compare & pull back.
I really have pulled back already immensely but its like dang... i don't want to be non existent from my nephews life but I would probably never see him if I don't reach out first or we just happened to be at family functions together.
TLDR: How do you cope with indirect friendship rejection from a sister in law? Is it irrational to think its odd for your sister in law not to respond to a Happy Mother's Day text?