I [17M] caught feelings for my best friend [16F], but she likes my friend [17M]. How do I handle this without ruining things?
I’m 17M and my best friend, (P, 16F), and I have been really close for around 2 months.
At first, I was actually helping her get closer to one of my friends (N, 16M), because she liked him. During that time, we became best friends, but after a few weeks I started catching feelings for her. Then I found out N had a girlfriend, so I told P.
A few weeks later, P told me she likes another one of my friends (J, 17M). By then, I already liked her a lot.
The reason I’m confused is because P and I are really close.
We text a lot, have deep conversations about life, beliefs, future plans, personal stuff, and we even had a thing where we said “goodnight” in a different language every night. Funny coincidence: we were even born on the exact same day (same date, different year), which became kind of a funny thing between us.
She remembers small details about me, worries about me, compliments me, and usually comes to me for advice if her best friend (T, 16F) doesn’t know what to do.
Some examples:
- When my hand hurt, she brought me cream for the pain.
- She jokes about worrying over my health because I don’t eat enough vegetables.
- She invited me to go eat pizza once.
- We have nicknames and inside jokes.
- We laugh a lot together and make long eye contact.
Recently, I lent her my beanie because it was cold and she liked how it smelled (I wear cologne). At first she gave it back at the end of the day, but eventually she kept it, posted stories wearing it multiple times, and even made one of those pictures her TikTok profile picture. Some mutual friends started asking if I liked her because of how much time we spend together and how often she wears my beanie.
There are also moments that confuse me. Once we were standing in line and one of my friends wanted to stand between us, and she didn’t want him to. Another time during an event at school, even though other friends were there, she specifically asked me to do an activity with her and get her a snack she wanted.
At the same time, she told me she likes J, and J has no idea.
I genuinely don’t dislike J and don’t want to hurt him, but I also know it would hurt me a lot if I stay quiet and eventually see them together while wondering “what if.”
I’ve thought about talking to T first because she’s very trustworthy and close to P.
I’m trying to figure out the best way to handle this without ruining my friendship with P or creating problems with J. How would you approach this situation, and what would you pay attention to before deciding what to do?
TL;DR: I [17M] caught feelings for my best friend [16F]. We’re very close and some things make me think there might be something there, but she told me she likes my friend [17M]. I care about both of them and don’t know how to handle the situation without ruining things.