u/Few-Obligation6835

I (34F) have been in a relationship with this really amazing man (50M) for almost five years. He told me from the beginning that he might have gotten Huntington's from his father. He never got tested and doesn't plan to, as it is a huge emotional weight to carry.

As I said, he's an amazing, supportive person, always believes in my dreams, and has my back. I love how smart he is and how much he cares about the world. We've watched so many sunsets together, and so many great memories from doing even the most ordinary things. But over the recent years, we've been having (or I'm having) issues about where we are and what we're doing.

He doesn't want to move in together, have family, get married, or have children. Not through IVF or donor. And I'm in the age when these questions start to become important.

He says that having a kid is a huge responsibility, and if he has the disease someday, it will affect not just his body but also his mood and temper. He cannot commit when he doesn't know if he'll even be able to take care of his body. That he needs his space, sometimes being around people only hurts him. And that even in his past relationships, he felt that people didn't really understand what it's like to live like an outcast with this huge burden.

I'm very torn. I don't even begin to understand what it may be like. I try to be as supportive as possible, but I sometimes doubt whether it is really Huntington 's-related or simply his avoidance and attachment issues. And whether he really loves me or just has one foot out the door.

I know that people react differently to big issues like this, and I know that my boyfriend had a serious burnout from work/responsibilities, which only made his ability to deal with things worse. But I also see that people, even with health issues, make it work when they're really in love.

Am I missing something? I really want to make it work, because I love what we have, but I'm also struggling in so many ways.

I (34F) have been in a relationship with this really amazing man (50M) for almost five years. He told me from the beginning that he might have got the Huntingtons from his father. He never got tested and doesn't plan to, as it it a huge emotional weight to carry.

As I said, he's amazing supportive person, always believes in my dreams and has my back. I love how smart he is and how much he cares about the world. We've watched so many sunsets together, and so many great memories from doing even the most ordinary things. But over the recent years, we've been having (or I'm having) issues about where we are and what we're doing.

He doesn't want to move in together, have family, to get married, or to have children. Not through IVF or donor. And I'm in the age when these questions start to become important.

He says that having a kid is a huge responsibility, and if he has the disease someday, it will affect not just his body but his mood and temper. That he cannot commit when he doesn't know if he'll even be able to take care of his body. That he needs his space, sometimes being around people only hurts him. And that even in his past relationships, he felt that people don't really understand what it's like to live like an outcast with this huge burden.

I'm very torn. I don't even begin to understand what it may be like. I try to be as supportive as possible, but I sometimes doubt whether it is really Huntingtons-related, or simply his avoidance and attachment issues. And whether he really loves me or just has one feet out in the door.

I know that people react differently to big events like this, and I know that my boyfriend had a serious burnout from work/responsibilities, which only made his ability to deal with things worse. But I also see that people even with health issues make it work when they're really in love.

Am I missing something? I really want to make it work, but even now he has withdrawn after the last conversation.