He did it again
First time posting on Reddit at all, just have some subs I like to follow. But I have to get this out. I feel like I’m dying inside. I’m trying to make this as short and quick as possible cuz I need to get this out, I’m only alone so often. I need to make a plan or something idk. And keep this under wraps for the time being so identifying info has been slightly changed. Basically my (30F) fiancé (35M) and I have been together for 8 years. He’s the love of my life. But he’s had 3 affairs with the same woman during the time we’ve been together. I have always stayed. The most recent time a few years ago was the most painful. I thought we were past it and I was totally blindsided. He promised he’d change, we did some therapy, he agreed when I said this was absolutely the last time. That if I find out he even talked to her in any capacity I will walk away forever. We got pregnant shortly after that, he was awful during my pregnancy. I felt very alone. And he was total shit about the first 15 months of our son’s life. We did couples counseling. I admitted myself to inpatient when my ppd was out of control. Then my dad died. That loss changed me. But it also changed how we operated around each other. We were softer, more gentle, I felt like we were in the best place we’d ever been. And then he proposed about a week ago. I was ecstatic. And shocked. Everything felt so happy. But I started having weird feelings. The last affair still twinges and there were a handful of times over the last few years that I thought he was absolutely seeing or talking to her again but couldn’t prove it. (He also suffered no consequences, I stayed and the ex of this chick who sent me their Line conversations also posted it on his business review page but his coworker got it off there before anyone could see it).
Anyway, fast forward a little bit and he got a new phone. His old phone is at home. And in his hidden photo folder dispersed between pictures and videos of me and us, are videos of her that say they were sent via Line. As recent as 6 months ago. One less than 7 days after my dad died. One on Valentine’s Day last year. I’m absolutely sick. I’m trying to pretend everything is normal until I can process this and come up with a plan. I’m shaking typing this. Just needed to get it out of me as fast as possible. Sorry for the typos.