u/Few-Sprinkles1991

I’m really struggling with routine with my baby. I feel alot of pressure to have a schedule for bed time, wake up, nap times, etc. At least, that’s what I see from all the sleep training / parenting content out there. I’m trying , but feels like I’m drowning. Since 1 month pp I’ve been caregiving for my elderly gpa and I’m constantly gone 4/5 days a week with my babe. When he was a newborn , it was easier. He would sleep without much convincing while I’m care giving. Now he’s 4 months, naps have been horrible, night sleeping is getting better, but could be improved. I’m having a hard time setting a routine and being able to follow it. I have tried a few times. The whole nurse, bath, nurse again, sleep routine. However, I haven’t been successful in keeping it up. I found he would go to sleep easier when it was around our bed time vs 8-9 when I tried to do a routine. I put him to sleep around when we sleep so 10ish, he often sleeps until 9-10am with 2-3 wake ups in the middle of the night. Napping is horrible and I’m trying to track it in Huckleberry and make sure I put him down around the 2 hr mark or before, but he’s been fighting me. A few days ago, he did 2 two hour naps during the day, which was pretty rare, since then he’s had 2 days of 6 hour stretches where he won’t sleep despite everything I’ve doing that typically works, nursing to sleep, burping, cuddling with him, Oragel for his gums, Tylenol, etc. I guess I’m ranting / looking for support. Can I be a go with the flow not-so-routine type of parent and my baby’s current fussiness is 4 month regression / teething, OR am I shooting myself in the foot by not having established a strong routine and this is why I’m dealing with this.

If I’m being honest, I don’t want to have a strict routine because I’m always on the go, out the house so I appreciate having flexibility and trying to watch his cues/timing out naps vs it’s a set time. But sometimes I wonder if I’m being a poor parent by not being stricter with schedules /routines. Obviously it’s my first go around at this, I’m trying my best. I’m exhausted. My husband works full time. I don’t have a lot of help with my baby besides hubby who’s exhausted when he gets home from work and because I EBF I feel entirely on my own sometimes, though I’m grateful for the help he does give me. I’m trying to develop something that works for us but I always fear I’m accidentally harming him by not doing the right thing.