So not gonna lie I'm feeling like I could explode with frustration on the fact that my"support group" or "closest circle" of family/friends aren't hearing me when I try to vent my raw true feelings about how I'm being treated
I get it-what's important to me isn't that to you- and it might just sound petty....
But for 1)IDGAF
and for 2) I simply ask that you take a moment to analyze the situation
Every person's struggle is unique and one-of-a-kind so don't mind me but I GOTTA speak my mind real quick tonight....
Maybe you got a free moment to sit back and...ponder with me 🤷♀️👌 my whole life I've always been bigger than average-so much so that my sister and I "joked" about how I've never been this size in my whole life even in elementary school😲😶🤔😟
Society has always suggested that skinny is beautiful and anything outside of that is not acceptable..... I was 16 years old When I got my license..... I lied about my weight and I put down 160 lbs...!?!?!?.....
-flip to adulthood (before GP) and I averaged 250lbs....
At my lowest...I was 98 lbs
Currently I sit at 120lbs...
The complete 180° difference in attitude, attention, acceptance,and "flirtatious"behavior simply because of my weight....
I'm talking about simple passings, door openings, or common respectful gestures...
When I was "fat" I was invincible (oddly enough)
Now that I'm at the "acceptable/preferred" weight people can't help themselves but to give me some type of attention....
Saying hi, holding doors, asking if I need help, allowing me to cut the line etc ...
But for why tho!?!?
Just because I weight 120lbs???....
The mind games I go threw because at my worst days of living (medically) they are considered some of the best days for all y'all physically
But buckle up buttercup bc I'm here to break it down to ya....
Aint nothing changed about me or my energy or my self besides my physical weight....
Soooooo that gives you the green light to be cool with me???
Vibe with me???
Collab with me????
So sorry to break the news but me... My-self-...my energy
That's never changed--and never will
I've always been the same person
Regardless my illness....
Or my weight ...
I am me!!
So why did it take you almost 100lbs to finally see me!?!?!
That's it, that's all
Thank you for letting me vent